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Wednesday 11-20-02
Well today was a pretty good day, I went too school as usual and heard maryann is fucking talking shit about me saying i stole her braclet or some shit like that....well first of all i didnt steel her shit and i dont want her shit i thought it was cool so i was looking at it and bev said i could have it if i gave her $5 so i gave it too her and then maryann has her friends come up to me and get it a week later or something like that, so she needs to get shit straight b4 she starts talking shit about me~! And last-night was my last-night of segment 1 for drivers training which kinda sux cause i liked going and making fun of that fat ass whore cow ashleigh hernandez, hahaha her one and only comment was "grow up" and she is the one who is like 5 feet tall and weighs 300 pounds, fucking bitch! I went too counseling today OoOoO fun fun, its so fricken gay i never even talk cause I ALWAYS WANNA GO FRICKEN HOME! hahaha when i told her i got suspended she was all fricken pissed at me or something saying i shouldnt deal with my anger that way, oh whatever! I'll deal with it how i want the bitch shouldnt have had her hair on my desk, lol...newayz, my parents are at Sears right now buying a tredmeal or however u spell it, so i can use it, cause it is a positive way to work out stress and sence i have been having these fricken anxiety attacks the doctor says i need one! thats some gay shit, but whatever! Well my grades are starting to suck ass cause i am getting lazy and am not doing my work nemore, lol....well my parents just got home and i wanna see what they got!! peace- Lis
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Thursday-11-21-02
I am in 4th hr right now, keyboarding, fun fun....today is going by pretty good except i found out i am going to be getting a "C" in history and that REALLY pisses me off, so now tonight i gotta watch some gay fricken movie so i can get some extra credit points to raise it to a "B" but newayz, i was hyper in 3rd hr but it is soo hott in this room that now i am all tired and sweating and i have a headache...I dont think i am doing nething tonight although it is a thursday and me and ashley normally go to the mall on thursdays, so i dont know for sure, well randa is sitting right here and she wants me too take some test thing she just sent me so i have too go, i will write more later! peace
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11-21-01 10:12 p.m.
Well I am sooo tired right now but i am talking to my friend tom online so i decided too stay on he is awesome! newayz, i didnt really do nething today i came home and took a nap ate dinner, and watched tv and did my homework wow lots of fun huh? and i talked online for like ever! School went good today except lucinda wants to get her ass kicked cause she is being a lil fat bitch who needs too keep her BIG mouth shut!~ their is a going to be a GC concert dec.17th and tickets go on sale tomarrow and i need some money really bad cause i wanna go like woah, but i dont know if my parents are guna give it too me, i doubt it but i am guna keep begging cause i wanna see gc soo bad! but i am so tired i better go to sleep so i dont fall asleep in 1st hour like i did today, that sucked! hahaha!! well good night!! Lis
p.s. I have a problem i think i am starting too like one of my friends again and that sux ass, cause i have b4 and it bugs the crap out of me, lol!! oh well! :(
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11-22-02 10:05 p.m. Well school was fine today we got our seats changed in 5th hr which is gay cause i am not by neone i like except kristie! I saw my "friend" that i am starting too like at the mall tonight, but i like 2 people right now, i like ian too he is soo hott, i saw him at the mall tonight too, lol but he just broke up with his g/f so that kinda sux cause they will prolly get back together. I am soo tired, i have to drive tomarrow, and sunday is my last time and then i get my permit woo-hoo...i saw that gurl at the mall, the one gurls hair i cut, lol....she wouldnt even look at me it was pretty hilarious. Ian asked me if i wanted too go to the movies with him tomarrow, and i dont know if i will or not even though i want too...i am soo bored! newayz, i am guna keep talking to ian and i will write more tomarrow! peace....lis! IAN IS SOO HOTT, lol
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11-23-02 9:50 Well I went to the movies with Ian ashley gerald and jen tonight, ian took me home which is cool, nothing happened though :( he doesnt like me i am pretty sure it was just as friends, he paid for me though, lol but thats also cause i didnt have ne money, lmao... i got the tickets for the concert today i will be going too see GOOD CHARLOTTE box car racer, new found glory, the vines, umm....the used which is soo awesome i cannot wait it is on december 17th so i dont even have that much time too wait! all ian ever talks about is his x g/f which is okay cause they just broke up and me and ian are friends, and i should wanna listen and help him, but i like him, i dont wanna hear about her all the time, lol...but its okay cause hopefully i can help him out and talk too him about it! well i gotta go cause ashley is upstairs we have too drive at 9 in the morning tomarrow...g2g peace! lis
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11-26-02 10:48 p.m.
Well the thing with Jamie Ian's X GIRLFREIND<---X is such a bitch everything that has happened has totally blown up because of her, she lies way too much, Ian came over today but i wasnt home :( i was at the mall looking for him, lol...but oh well he is guna come over tomarrow, so thats pretty cool! I got my grades today and everything is looking good :) omg my mom is such a bitch 2day when i was in the car with her she wouldnt let me drive because we were having like a snow storm or something, and i was like ok whatever so i was listening to soem god damn music and she totally jumped down my throat and calling me a bitch and stuff cause the roads were really bad, and i was distracting her from driving because of my music or something and then she starts yelling at me for bitching at her, and then she is all like i have an attitude and i am guna have hell to pay or something WHAT THE HELL EVER! your a BITCH so go to hell! lol...and me and ashley kotelman are in a fight because she does not need to be talking about me...even though it was not bad my name does not need to be coming out of her mouth, she told someone something (jamie) that i didnt want her too know and even though i never said for ashley not to say nething to her, she should have had enough common sence to know not to say nething and that is pretty much how everything happened. Ashley Lamping wants Gerald now, and now gerald and jen are guna hook up so she is kinda depressed, but what can ya do, lol....well i g2g now! me and ashley are looking up "ingrate" in the dictonary cause my mom called me one and i dont know what it means, lol! peace out...Lis
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11-28-02 6:59
Well I went to my aunt normas today for Thanksgiving, it wasnt too bad, i got too drive thier :)lol...i was the internet for like an hour when i was over thier talking too ian, wow am i soacial or what?...the mall isnt open tonight and sence i am a mall rat i dont have nething too do, lol...my family keeps bugging me too play yuckor (or however u spell it) with them, but i dont really want too so i decided too stay down here and listen too ICP they are awesome i never liked them b4 and i thought they sucked but this cd i have is pretty good! I feel really lazy, and tired, but i dont wanna go to sleep so soon, but i dotn have nething too do :( and ashley isnt home yet...so i am bored! Ian told me to call him around 9 or 10 and i think i will, i wanna hang out with him again tomarrow, but i doubt we will cause i dont think he is going to ask me, and i am not asking him, lol....cuz thats just the way it is! 2day i really started to miss my grandma and uncle larry soooo much, cause they were all here last thankgiving and now both of them are dead, its terrible, i started crying when i was at my aunt norma's so i had too go into the bathroom for a minute so no one would notice! I miss them soo much, and i hate that thier gone, i am not a very religous person but i am a christain, and i have seriously been thinking about abandoning God all together lately, cuz it seems like nothing good every happens too me, i know thier are tons of people who have harder lives then me, but i cannot believe he would take my grandma and my uncle larry from me, i think its just terrible, it seems as if he doesnt do nething good for me and i cannot stand it! but oh well i guess....i am guna go play cards with my family now (fun fun) i will write more later tonight probably cause i am bored! peace! lis
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11-29-02 8:24 p.m.
Well today Ian called me at like 10:17 so he woke me up, hahaha it was funny cuz i wouldnt wake up, lol...but i eventually did and called him back he came over from like 1:15 to like 4:15 we had fun, didnt do much but had fun, lol....Lots of flirting going on, lol...but i felt pretty gay cuz he was like i am bored SORRY I AM NOT ENOUGH ENTERTAINMENT, lol....it just made me feel bad! but i know he didnt mean it rudly and then ashley came and picked me up and he went too the mall, then we saw ian thier wow how strange, lol...he had too work! and he is guna call me tonight, me and ashley had fun GERALD KISSED HER TWICE :) that made her very happy, lol....and sam and brandon teeple and tom were there we hung out with them for a lil bit, and i drank all sam's rum, lol....and i smoked alot tonight too fun fun, well not really, cuz i dont wanna smoke nemore, ian doesnt like it, and if i ever want nething to happen between us which i do, i am guna have too not do that, lol...tomarrow is the one year anniversary from when my grandma died, and its soo sad, i think i might have a hard time 2marrow cuz her dieing while i was holding her hand was pretty rough on me, wow...i am about too cry and ashley is over here so i better not! It just makes me soo depressed, but what can ya do? i need a job so bad, i am so sick of being poor...i hope katie and scott get back together my sister and her x b/f i miss him alot he was like a brother too me, i just want them too get back together! but oh well...there isnt much i can do! well i think i am going too get off now cuz i wanna be offline when ian calls me! and kyle is supposed too call me too, kyle from undefined (rescue breathing) or whatever...g2g write more later! peace out Lis
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11-30-02 6:51 p.m.
well i am bored out of my mind, i woke up this morning, and got ready and drove all the way too flint and went too best buy got tuns of dvd's and a play station 2 and cd's x-mas presents and stuff, fun fun! when i got home i saw ian called so i called him back cuz i wanted him too come over or something tonight, but he is staying at richards for awhile or something! so now i am bored, i have been in a pissy mood all day i thought i would be sad but nope just pissed, a year ago today my grandma died, about a year and an hour ago!! :(...i just wanna lay down and die, life seems terrible! i wish she was here and i wish my uncle was here too lately i have just felt soo depressed! I just ordered pizza, so i am going too go now, but i am sure i wil write more b4 i go to sleep cuz i am bored! peace, lis
11:21 p.m.
well i am way toop depressed or sad whatever too stay online nemore, i wish i would just die sometimes, its not fair, i gotta go....night! lis
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12-1-02 8:54 p.m.
well 2day i woke up and went too church, thad was flirting with me soo bad, lol it was quite funny, he kept making comments and touching my leg and stuff, lol...newayz i went too ruby tuesdays with like my WHOLE family, but its cool i like seeing them... and then i came home and called ian cuz it said he called on the caller id and he didnt answer, CUZ HE WAS WITH JAMIE!!!!!!!!!!!! but whatever, i guess i dont care, OH WAIT, YEAH I DO! lol...but then he came over not for long though and he didnt even talk like the whole time he was here so he left! and now i am online wow what a fun day...yeah right i still feel really depressed i miss my uncle larry and my grandma more then nething its terrible! but thier isnt nething i can do! :( nick is supposed too come over after school tomarrow and let me burn his taking back sunday cd, but i bet he forgot, lol, and that would suck :( but whatever!! well i am tired and i gotta pee like race horse, lol...so i will write more tomarrow....i dont wanna go 2 school :( oh well! peace...Lis
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12-2-02 8:57 p.m.
Well I couldnt sleep last-night i swear i layed thier for at least 3 hours before i fell asleep, it was very annoying, so i was soo tired this morning, and failed a quiz in my first hour, cuz i was like dead i was soo tired! Randa brought me some adderal which is cool i took it and WOAH what an effect, it was great, lol i luv her she is the best ever! and now i am all hyper cuz of this shit and i dont have nething too do, but i feel like i have too go do something, i dont think we are going too have school tomarrow, so i am not going to do my homework, which means we will prolly have school and i will get all zeros, but oh well whatever~ Beverly's sister is such a bitch she needs too fucking watch her mouth before she gets her ass beat, calling me a "shit-head" what the hell ever, no one calls people a "shit-head" thats reatarted it reminds em of the 2nd fucking grade when kids would call each other poopy head and shit like that, so i called her a bitch, and she didnt do nething, YEAH THATS WHAT I THOUGHT B-I-T-C-H thats right i take ya now or whenever u want bitch!....i bought some purple hair dye today so i am kinda excited too dye my hair, but i dont know if i want too tonight or wait untill tomarrow...well i am going to go do something because i cannot sit still i will write more later! peace...lis
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12-3-02 12:05 Tuesday!
I am in 4th hr right now and i am bored, it is sooo hott in here, omg u know JAMIE that stupid ass whore B-I-T-C-H??....well fuck her shes a bitch, she said she didnt break into ashley kotelmans email address, WELL HOW THE HELL DID SHE EMAIL ME THAT BITCHY LETTER FROM ASH'S EMAIL ADDY THEN???? so i asked ash why she lied to me, and shes all like umm, i didnt lie i had detention, WHAT THE HELL EVER! that pisses me off, and u know what i am soo sick of all this shit with both of those bitches, that i am about too stop talking too ashley and ian for good! just because i dont wanna fucking deal with it....i think it would be funny if something started, cuz i know me and randa could take them, lol....i am soo bored and i hate this class, thier is never nething too do, cuz i dont do my work HAHAHA! ian is supposed to come over after school 2day well i am pissed and i am not in a good mood, so i hope he has fun putting up with my shit! and i didnt do ne of my homework cuz i thought we were guna have a FUCKING SNOW DAY....well guess what?? WE DIDN'T GRRRRR.....that makes me soo mad, so i didnt sleep last-night and i am not even tired, hmmm, weird i know! lol....ashley kotelman wants me too go to the mall with her today well guess what? I'm NOT....she makes me mad and i am not going too hang out with her untill she apologizes for all these god damn lies she keeps making up!! it makes me mad....ummm, and all 5th hr i am going too have to work my ass off, cuz i gotta get my 6th hr homework done, this day is just not going my way, lol....newayz, it is my aunt anns b-day today :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY! LOL....well i will write more tonight cuz i am sure alot of stuff is guna happen with me and ash in 6th hr like ALOT OF BITCHING, mostly from me i am sure!!....the bell is about too ring, peace out!...Lis
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4:57 p.m.
Well when school was getting out today some gurl got hit by a bus, lol....it was kinda funny, but awful too all the princapl people went running out the door past me so i grabbed randa and we chased them, lol....and then it was all bloody and stuff, so we left. Well Ian just left my house, but shhh...dont tell anyone, because HE doesnt want neone too know he hangs out with me and that we...well n/m I AM NOT "ALOUD" to put it in here i am sure! grrrr, that makes me so mad, i was in a bad mood already, but know i am beyond pissed....school was gay i am pissed, and nothing happened in 6th hr with me and ashley, i wrote her a note and gave it 2 her after school cuz i didnt wanna start bitching in class, but i hope she calls me now, cuz i am deffinetly in the mood too bitch! I am really hungry right now, and i need some money too buy some drugs shh....dont tell neone, and i dont know where i am going too get it! grrr....and i need it, well i guess i am going too have too sell my body, LMAO! j/k....well i am going too eat some pizza cuz i am a fucking fat ass huge cow who needs too get a fucking life, and stuff <--- lmao j/k once again! well peace...Lis
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12-4-02 8:09 p.m.
I didnt go to school today, i woke up this morning praying that we were going too have a snow day and when i turned on channel 6 THERE WAS NO snow day, so i went into my moms room and told her i was sick, even though i'm not i just have not slept at all the last 3 nights and i have been way too tired, so she said i could stay home :) i slept 'till 1:00 it was awesome! nothing really excited happened today, and i am very bored right now, and thier is a good tv show on right now so i am guna go! peace out, Lis
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12-4-02 11:32 a.m.
I am in 4th hr right now and Randa is not here so i am bored out of my mind, thier is nothing to do! my sister said she is going to try and get me kid rock concert tickets which is awesome, cuz i luv him, and i hope she gets them! i didnt do my homework for 6th or 5th hr and guess what i am not going too, lol....and i never do nething in this class, wow am i a good student or what? Ryan just e-mailed me (my x b/f) and at the end he said "love ya rye" i wonder if he broke up with his g/f or something cuz thats kinda weird dont get me wrong i like it and everything, but hmmm, makes ya think! omg the guys sitting next to me has his headphones on and he doesnt know he is being loud but he is and he is singing, wow he needs some lessons, lol....newayz, i hope ryan emails me again, we really do need to start talking more! omg at lunch ian was all like alissa come here and he wanted me to go sit with him, and jamie was with him what the hell is he stupid or something? I HATE HER, and i dont wanna come newhere near her, so y would he call me over thier? didnt go newayz...hahaha! i want him to come over today but i dont think he is going too :( "tear tear" lol....i'll get over it, he winked at me :) lmao! okay this guy next to me needs to shut-up he is singing so loud, lol...its kinda funny! OMG HE IS SINGING SKATER BOI BY AVRIL hahaha, thats too funny...i am actually siiiick now, i prolly got sick cuz i faked it yesterday and i am pissed, cuz if i miss one for day this semester i fail....which sux so now i gotta come too school no matter what yesterday was my last day! well i am getting off now, cuz i thnk i am going too work on my site~ and email some people! i will write more tonight! peace out, Lis
p.s. now he is singing justin timberlake, lmao! this is hilarious, lmao and he is making obscene noises, HAHAHAHA!
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12-6-02 11:39
I am in 4th hr again, and i am bored cuz randa isnt here AGAIN! Heather is wearing one of my shirts today that i gave her like A YEAR AGO!! GRRRRR, newayz i got my report card 2day and that makes me mad i got one "A" 1 "C" and the rest were B's i did better on this marking period then i did last time and it says my GPA is 2.9???? what the hell? i dont think that it right and it pisses me off, cuz i WANT 3.0 damn retarts! newayz...Bobby is gay and never does what he says he is guna do, and it pisses me off...everyone was like monday monday i'll have some well guess what? i want them TODAY TODAY, not monday monday <--- lol....newayz i didnt do my homework for 5th hr again :( oh well...and i havent talked too ian in quite sometime but whatever its his loss, saw ryan today he gave me some chips! :) lol...aww what a nice guy, lol...and right now i dont feel like typing nemore cuz i have a headache, and i am all shaky again! i think i am going too the mall tonight like every other friday night, but i dont really want to, so who knows! i havent been feeling very up beat lately! well i will write more tonight maybe! peace...Lis
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12-7-02 10:44 p.m.
Well I am at ashleys and i am bored out of my fucking mind...we went to the mall for like a million fucking hours today and it sucked. All she wanted too do is go to hot topic so she could see gerald....GERALD LIKES JEN! newayz, i think jen is cool now, shes "wicked awesome" <--- hahaha she invited me and ash to go "sledding" with her tonight at like 1:00 but sence i am staying at ashleys it was up to her mom, and her mom said no, cuz her mom is alot stricter then my mom, but whatever it would have been fun! I WANT TOO FRICKEN DYE MY HAIR! but my mom is all being gay BECAUSE SHES A BITCH, and is like get a job and then u can cuz i am not paying for it, shut the fuck up...shes soo dumb, she will take me too the store and i will throw so much shit in the cart it will all add up to more then my hair dyeing would cost, but yet she wont pay for my hair?! makes sence doesnt it?!?!....dumb bitch! well as u can tell i am in a very pissy mood, so i am going too do whats best for all of us, and get off the computer now! and go upstairs with ashley and have lots more fun<---not...well g2g! peace, Lis
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12-9-02 9:31 p.m.
I am bored out of my mind, i am talking too nick heacock right now, i dont know why, lol i am just bored!! Ian called me on his break awwww, he is soo cute, lmao! newayz, i didnt go to school 2day because i was sooo tired, and i had my mom call the office to see how many more days i can miss untill i fail, well they said i am at my limit, and if i miss one more day then i have too go to south, and i deffinetly do not want that, so i guess i am not going to miss nemore days which sux! I am in a pretty good mood, just bored, i think i am going to dye my hair purple tonight but i dont know, everytime i do it myself it sux ass, i wanna get it done by someone who knows what thier doing, but that costs money, something i dont have! i really should do my homework that i didnt do lastnight, lol....hmmm, let me think about it NO,hahaha! well i am going to go to bed now, so i will actually be able to go to school tomarrow! peace out lis
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12-10-2 7:19 p.m.
As soon as i got home from school today i went to sleep cuz my mom wanted me to clean my room, and thats a good way of getting out of it, lol...and when i was sleeping jen called me cuz we were supposed to go to youth group together tonight, and i didnt go i feel bad, but i have to type a paper for Lit, and history homework, and algebra and biology and everything, i feel bad, but when i called her back she wasnt home :'( and i dont know her cell #. I am listening too ICP right now, there pretty awesome..."i c fucking p's in the house" <-- hahaha i luv that. Me and my mom went to big boy after alec and matthew and charity left my house. Yeah my Grandma came over 2day too, which is kinda weird, but whatever! She got me some cool clothes for x-mas so i am happy, i know for sure she got my a blink 182 hoody, and an unwritten law hoody :)...school sucked today, cuz i wasnt really hyper, i like fell asleep in biology and got yelledat...oh well! Grrrr....my mom wants me to clean my room, i dont want too! so guess what?! I'm not going too, lol one week from today is my concert i am soo excited, its guna be GOOD CHARLOTTE :) (if i met billy or benji OoOoOoO the possibilities) lol...boxcar racer, new found glory, trust company, the used, the vines, and some other gay band that i never heard of. :( i feel mad i didnt go with jen i hope she took kara with her so she isnt all alone :( i hope she wont be mad! but i dont really feel good either, thats kinda why i fell asleep too! wow i am bored, and i dont wanna do my homework :(....i am guna go take a shower or something, lol....i will write more later! Lis
P.s. some really hott guy talked to me today, lol...i know he has a g/f though, his g/f is the barking gurlz sister, but oh well he is fricken hott, lmao!
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12-13-02 10:54
I just got home, and WHOA did i have fun 2night :)...after school 2day i went too ashley kotelmans (i did yesterday too) and ian came over there, even though i was being a big bitch to him, lol its okay he was taking it well though, he is soo cute, hahaha and then he took us to my house real quick, so i could change, and then he took us to the mall cuz he had too work and when we got to the mall me and "moe" met kristie, dusty and joel thier, and they fricken brought us some weed :) and we smoked it :) woo-hoo...so i had like an awesome time, hahaha...me and "moe" wanted to find someone to fricken bang while we were thier, lol...but we didnt...its all good though cuz i gotta hump tyler, hahaha! Noah and Savannah are coming over 2marrow so i am kinda excited cuz sometimes i like them, but they get on my damn nerves, so i will prolly leave, lol...me and ashley lamping are in a fight, hahaha...i think its funny, i am not going too that damn concert with her now, so fuck her, i am guna fucking sell my ticket and get some god damn weed or shrooms or some shit like that :) WOO-HOO...omg in 6th hr today me and "moe" had a substitute teacher, and his name was mr. stevens or something gay like that and he was a short lil guy with glasses who obviously thought he was all that, but he wasnt, and as soon as i got in thier i gave him a dirty look (but didnt mean too) i couldnt see striaght cuz i had just taken 3 pills....and newayz i had my head down on the desk cuz i was FRICKEN SLEEPING, and he was like okay everyone do thier work so of course i DONT wake-up and keep laying there, and he pointed his lil finger at me and he was like do ur work "NOW" and i was like WHOA settle down killer, and he got all mad, and i was like " look i dont have a book so back off" lol and he was all like "THATS NOT MY PROBLEM" NO SHIT SMART ASS! <--- lol....so then i fuckin got my markers out and started drawing him, hahaha and it had like an X through it, and shit and "moe" crumppled it up and chucked it at his head, and we took off out the door, lmao! but b4 that happened "moe" got on the ground at exactly 2:05 and starting going "JESUS SAVES JESUS SAVES" and she was like screaming it, hahaha it was great! And me and "moe" were making fun of him, so he could hear us, and he was like u have an attitude or something and moe was like ummm, thats nice but i wasnt talking to you buddy, and he was like yeah but u were talking about me, and moe was like yeah ur right i was but i wasnt talking TOO YOU, SO BACK THE HECK OFF OUR CONVO, hahaha and he just like took our shit, hahaha LOSER! but he wrote our names down OoOoOo i am scared now, lol....so on monday i am going to get into trouble by the real teacher, but it was so funny and i am guna be high on monday, so i think i will be able too handel it, lol! well i gotta go eat or something now cuz i got the fricken munchies, i wonder why, hahaha! peace brother, LMAO!! hahahaha... "John" <--- dont ask! lol :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) i am in like the best mood ever :):):):):)
12-19-02 8:57 p.m.
Well I am supposed too be with Heather at a basketball game right now but i didnt make it :( i hope she isnt guna be mad at me, lol..."moe" got me a cd for x-mas and i LOVE it...lol i am like upsessed, lol I was just talking too "him" <--- (lol not guna tell u who "him" is) and he was all like i asked u out once b4 and u said no, well i only said no cuz i thought he was drunk, well then he was like and if i asked u out again right now u would prolly say no again, and i didnt say nething so i am thinking he is guna ask me out sometime, i dont know what i am going to say though. me and ericka won the "food" contest in spanish class today, lol....so now we get free taco bell for awhile :) lol it was funny CUZ I DIDNT MAKE IT I BOUGHT IT, LOL....but shhh no one needs to know that! me and "him" are going to the movies tomarrow night I THINK! but i am not sure, i hope we do, cuz i REALLY wanna go!....hmmm, i am done x-mas shopping except i wanna get my mom something else. Ummm, sometime this week my mom is taking me over to ashley lampings (my x best friend) house, so i can get all my stuff back i made a list of everything she has of mine thier are like 20 things, lol....newayz, i am getting off now....i am sure i will be back on soon though cuz i havent slept in like forever...i wonder why?! i think i need to lay off the "narcodics" <--- luv that word, lol...its making me sick :( but whatever...g2g~ peace out...Lis
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12-20-02 9:31 p.m.
Hmmm, today was a pretty good day, all day at school i couldnt stop laughing, i dont know why! hahaha 4th and 5th hr were pretty fun, well i gave "moe" the sumn 41 cd and she loved it and i got manda the simple plan cd and she loved it too, lmao!....me and randa and heather didnt get each other nething, but we never do, we all know we love each other, lol! i wanna go out with "him" really bad, but i dont know whats guna happen with that, i am talking to him right now! so we'll see how it goes, lol! peace
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12-23-02 8:25 p.m .
Well i am bored out of my mind, thier is nothing to do, i have to finish wrapping my xmas presents but i dont want too! i went 2 the mall yesterday, and saw ami...and she is guna be and scott and renee's on tuesday so i am happy cuz i wont be all bored by myself, lol...jean,kevin,noah,savannah, and ryan came over lasnight and we ordered pizza, jean got me a hoody, and its big and comfortable so i was happy, i am wearing it right now :) "he" did not ask he out yet, but he will i know he will. I havent talked too ian to much lately, he kinda annoys me, he was asking me why i never call him nemore, but i dont know i kinda think he is selfish, is jamie could put up with him for a year. i envy her (even though i still wanna kill the bitch, lol) there really isnt neone online right now, la-la-la...my throat hurts i think i am getting the flu or something ian says i feel sick cuz i am annorexic....I AM NOT ANNOREXIC, lol....sorry i dont stuff my face all day everyday! newayz, i am getting offline now, i think i am guna watch a movie or something....peace out, Lis
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12-24-02 11:33 p.m.
well right now i am bored out of my mind, tom is trying to talk to me AND I AM STILL MAD AT HIM, so he does not even need too be talking to me! i am soo excited me and kristie are getting 2gether on friday to get high and drunk :):) shes the best!! when i woke up my mom kept bitching at me to clean my room so of course i locked my room and didnt do it, lol...and then i took 3 caffeine pills, so i cannot sleep and i am shaking like a mother fucker, lol...i am not excited for xmas at all i miss my uncle larry and it is not fair that he is not here, soo i would rather it not be xmas and just a normal day! i went to renee's for xmas eve which kinda made me mad cuz her house IS BORING...me and ami played our lil food game and stuff, and then i was playing with chase a lil but then all i wanted to do was go home the whole time...and now i am and i wanna sleep, but i dont see that happening, lol...gerald was all telling me ian wants me and all he ever does is talk about how hott i am and shit, thats all cool and everything, but i dont like him as much as i used too...i guess he isnt my type, he just i dont know is weird...he moved to slow, and now i have moved on, i dont like guys that keep me waiting! tomarrow i am going to ashleys to get my money and all my shit, it all better be thier and thats just the way it is, lol...me and tim are hanging out on thursday which is cool were guna get drunk and high...wow am i getting lucky this week or what? we'll prolly fuck too (not really) lol...but mess around i am sure! i miss my cuzin beca and ami i dont get to see them enough especially beca :'(...my cuzin courtney is awesome and she goes to my school now so thats all cool, i think we should hang out more, and i should corrupt her, lol...cuz then we could have lots of fun together, lol...well i am guna get offline now, i will write more tomarrow! Lis
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12-25-02 11:26 p.m.
I just got home from jean and kevins, lol omg it was soo funny hilary was thier ryans x g/f and as soon as she left ryan came walking in with his new UGLY girlfriend, lol...it was too funny! well i woke up at 10:00 this morning but thats cuz my parents forced me too get up i could have slept 'till noon, well i came downstairs and opened my presents like everything i got was lepard print :) and i am happy cuz thats like all i wanted!...i got a vanity, some lepoard print couch bench thing for my new room, a lepoard print chair thing lepard print picture frames and frames, and bed spread, i got 3 cd's...mest, talking back sunday, and new found glory...scrap booking stuff (i love to make scrap books) i didnt get ne clothes :( from my parents which sux but oh well, everything i got was cool! then we went to my grandmas and me and my mom got into a fight and she slapped me in the face BITCH...so i hit her back, lol...and dropped all the food and walked in the house, and then she went in thier and tryed saying sorry and shit and i said whatever get out of my face and walked away,lol...that was great! my grandma got me an "unwritten law" hoody and a "blink 182" hoody and some other hoody i picked out and some kick ass purse, and some shit, lol that i am never guna use! my grandma got me three dolls that are boys and there like sports dolls or something...and finger paints, i dont know what my grandma was smoking when she bought that but i want some! lol...and then we went to jean and kevins and they got me a hoody...i didnt get ne pants and thats what i wanted the most, so my mom is taking me shopping tomarrow if i have ne time and i am guna get some new pants! thats really all i did today it was a busy day, and some what good...surprising, cuz i hate xmas!...my cousin michael is getting out of jail in feb. so thats kinda exciting he has been in thier for 10 years and 3 months, so it will be interesting when he gets out right around my b-day, lol...i am waiting for ian to get on now, so i will write more tomarrow if i have time!! peace out... Lis
p.s. i felt the kid kick again tonight :) (my newphew) it is due march 3rd and i am soooo excited!! :)
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12-26-02 11:23 p.m.
Mrs. Lamping brought me over a huge bag of presents 2day and that was so nice of her considering i dont like her daughter nemore...she got me some pretty cool stuff and i love it all, so i am very very happy! I didnt really do much today i was tired all day and just didnt feel like leaving the house, i woke up at like 1:30...lol and i watched monsters inc <--- cute movie, and judge judy, and then i worked on my site a lil bit. matthew and charity came over and then we went to ruby tuesdays too eat so i got a salad...and thats pretty much all i did, oh and i got into a fight with nicholas cuz he pisses me off, and i built some things that i got for xmas that need assembeling...i hate that, lol! grrrr, ian drives me craZy sometimes i just cannot stand him all he does is bitch about everything mostly jamie and about how he has a head ache or his stomach hurts cuz he hasnt been eating THEN FUCKING EAT SOMETHING, and then he asks me what my problem is because i am being "rude" well guess what i dont wanna hear about ur stupid shit all the time especially stupid shit like jamie he knows i hate her so why exactly would i wanna hear about her all the time? oh yeah thats right I DONT!!!!!! i miss "him" he went on vacation so i dont get to talk to him for a while!! :( I will write more later, peace!
12-28-02 12:14 a.m. (midnight)
well it is actually the 29th but whatever! Okay, i am bored out of my mind and i should go to bed, i am watching a madonna movie thing thats actually not as gay as i thought it would be, i went to the mall and got some new clothes and bracelets that smell like shit...lol....me and ashley are friends again i emailed her and explained why i was so mad and she called me and apologized...and i went too the airprot with ashely too pick up her dad, he came home from cali today, but i gotta get up for church in the morning so i will write more tomarrow, time for bed...oh and i am talking too tim right now and he is being gay its pissing me off!!....Lis
12-30-02....12:21 a.m.
I am at ashleys right now and we are not doing much...we were looking for the wizard of oz, but we were not successful, so now that idea sux, well i woke up this morning and WAS SOOOO TIRED so i looked like crap at church and i was hardly awake i was so happy when it was time to pray so i could close my eyes, lol...and then we went too china lite, yum yum...and my grandpa stabbed me with his fork on purpose and it hurt like hell...so i told my grandma on him, lol and he got yelled at...HAHAHA! and then i went home got bitched at by my mom too clean my room, so i did and then i found the wizard of oz, and couldnt find the part in the movie i was looking for and then i feel asleep untill 6:30 and then i came too ashleys and here i am, lol...oh and she bought me the REEVO STYLER :):):):):):):) cuz she loves me and she knows how much i wanted it :):):) i am a happy lil camper right now, lol...and i am talking to tim right now and he didnt call me today surprise surprise...well tomarrow i plan on going to the mall cuz i need to get some new shoes, and thats about it, fun stuff....wait, not tomarrow i plan on going on monday and i guess today is monday,well whatever, and on tuesday i am sooo partying with kristie :)...Lis
p.s. me and ashley are having so much fun right now she is sleeping in the chair behind me, lol
12-31-02 12:03 a.m.
Its midnight so its either the 31st or 30th take it however u want too, lol...well i woke up at like 2:30 this morning, lol and went to the mall...me and ashley hung out with denny and travis mostly thier both pretty cool...i saw ian for a second and then he left yeah doesnt the make me feel special?? :( not...we saw kob and hova thier....well it was pretty fun i stole some naked chick calender for nick currie and gave it too him, to BAD HE DOESNT LIKE ME.....but whatever, i wanna go out with "him" soo bad i cannot wait too talk too "him"...i am going too some kick ass party tomarrow night and i am soo excited i hope my parents let me go, hopefully they do, but who knows! well i dont feel like typing, so see ya later, peace!
p.s. i am talking too bobby right now, he is soo funny he always call me "women" lmao...hahahaha!
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1-4-02 12:01 a.m.
well its saturday now, lol....its has only been saturday for one minute, lol....but whatever its cool, lol...wow i havent written in here for awhile. well i am excited for kid rocks movie too come out :) lol...he is one hot mo fo, lol...ummm this morning i was at ashleys and i left, EVEN THOUGH FRIDAYS ARE MINE AND HER DAYS, lol but its cool, cuz i have spent the whole week with her, and she went too the movies with "nikki" and...i went too jean and kevins, okay noah and savannah were pissing me off, lol so i fell asleep and when i woke up ryan was right there on the other end of the couch and he was like wow u look like u had a rough night lastnight, LMAO...it was funny! i havent talked too moe for along time :( like all break i tryed calling her and everytime i do i get the machine, so maybe she went out of town, this i do not know, lol! me and hova and ashley and kob had a slumber party lastnight, over the phone hahahaha, it was great fun, i was just happy i was distant from them so hova didnt make me eat the eggs she made! lol....me and "him" probably are not going too start going out i dont think he likes me or something :( and i dont like ian nemore, so i guess i dont have neone right now, but thats not always a bad thing...:) well i am going too work on the other part of my site for a lil while...peace!
p.s. i am listeining too kottonmouth kings right now they are dope! lol
| 1-4-03 |
|
| Current mood: AnNoyEd |
1-4-03 6:07 p.m.
well i just got home i was with tim....WOW we had sooooo much fun. lol first we went too best buy and then we went too get gas, and then we were about too smoke a jay but didnt, so we parked down where we always do and talked....but this time we actually talked, IT WAS STRANGE...he kept saying he was having "so much fun" <--- sarcastically though and it was kinda making me mad, i was like okay if u wanna fucking do something make a move, lol...i kept hintintg to him that i wanted too, but he totally didnt get it so i was like whatever take me home, i think that will be the last time we hang out for ALONG TIME....lol! and i want ashley too stay the night but she 'cant" or whatever and that makes me mad cuz now i dont have nething else too do all night! grrrrrrr
| Current mood 1-5-03 |
|
| Sad/Mad |
1-5-03 9:11 p.m.
Okay i thought of a plan, my friend piper got her tongue periced awhile ago some place where u dont need a parent its private, and cheap...and i wanna get mine done soo bad but my parents wont let me and all my friends who have it done say there parents couldnt even tell they got it done, blah blah blah and they think i will be able too hide it, but the place where i have too go is in st.claire shores...so here is my plan i get someone too drive me down there maybe tim maybe ian i dont know but it has too be someon ashley trusts cuz she is going with me and she is always paranoid and stuff, lol....maybe julie too, i dont know yet and if they cant then i will ask chad, but newayz i will drive down there with them and meet piper somewhere so she can take us or show us to where we have too go i get it done and go back too the mall where mine and ashleys parents will think we have been the whole time, and then i stay the night at ashleys house so i have a lil while too get used too my tongue being periced and then i have ashley stay the night on saturday night so then i wont have too talk to my parents much :) and then i hide it for awhile, lol...untill i can take it out without it closing up...WOW i am excited i have wanted this for along time and i am soo excited cuz i think this time my plan is actually going to work! wow i am stoked now i have too wait untill the weekend, either this weekend or next weekend, who knows, lol i dont all i know is i am excited!!! but i am also pissed and sad today cuz i have too go back too school tomarrow :( the whole school aspect of it isnt that bad cuz i think i am getting drunk b4 school tomarrw, but its the whole waking up at 6:30 in the moring that is fricken crazy geeze over xmas break i havent gone too bed untill luike 5 a.m. and now i have too wake up a lil bit after that time, thats craZy...only 2 more months untill my nephew is born!! :):):)...peace!
| 1-6-03 |
|
| Current Mood: Blah |
1-6-03 11:23 a.m.
I am in 4th hr right now and "he" is behind me in this class but whatever i dont even care i am not even going too talk too him, he drives me crazy! lol...he is fricken ignorant, well i am still like soooo excited about getting my tongue periced i have told everyone and they all think it will be cool but they think my parents will find out too soon, BUT THEY WONT, lol...well i hope not cuz then i die, lol damn i have 2 huge projects in history too do like HUGE projects, and one big one in lit, i hate this back from break and they fricken lay all this homework on us, its craZy! well my teacher is bitching about doing my work so i prolly should, hahahaha not, newayz i saw ian and i am not talking to him, lol its great...randa was guna bitch at him for me, but i told her not too, lol so after a lil but of begging she agreed too not, but i said she could bitch at "him" all she wanted, lmao!....well g2g peace!
| 1-6-03...evening |
|
| Current Mood: tired/and in pain |
1-6-03 9:08 p.m.
"Could you tell me the next time that you're choking?
'Cause I'll rush right over
to shove some dirt right down your throat
It's nothing I have against you
You're just a creep"
Hmm, when i got home today i did my biology homework and thats all i am guna do tonight, cuz i am lazy and my back hurts, lol...ashley suddenly "forgot" that she was supposed too come over on saturday night so then it would be easier too avoid my parents, so that pretty much pisses me off...but whatever~ so now i dont know if i am going too do it this weekend or next weekend it kinda all depends on when chad can take me down there, cuz he is the only ride i have at the moment. Piper said she would call the lady for me too make sure she will do it. so thats cool, i went too barnes and nobles today and bought the book "go ask alice" i read 38 pages already and its pretty cool, i need too read the whole book in like 7 days for Lit...but i am happy it is a book that i at least enjoy reading, and i went too the paint store or whatever and got paint for my new room, and I moved out all katies (my sister) stuff and so now there is nothing in the room except for a bed, and i took everything off the walls, and taped the edges for when i paint and we are going too start painting tomarrow and my mom says i should be all moved in my friday, so thats pretty awesome! And my back hurts soooo bad right now i feel like dieing! It sux...thats why i am not working on my room anymore. :( well i think i am going too go watch tv and go to bed early or something because i was waaaaaaaaay too tired at school today to be able too function, lol....OH and Shania Twain will be preforming the half time show at the super bowl, so thats awesome! Me and Manda have decided too go on a diet cuz we have established that we are both hippos, lol...so today at lunch i didnt eat anything even though i was very very tempted, and i am starving right now but whatever i will live, Oh and...Ms. Carlton my 5th hr teacher had Kid Rock as her screen saver in the class room so all 5th hr i get too stare at him now, when i am in the right state of mind, lol...and its great fun sence he is fricken hott and its a good pic that i have never seen b4 so that makes it soo much better :) lol....okay bed time! peace!....Lis
| 1-7-03 |
|
| current mood: blahh |
1-7-03 9:37 p.m.
Today was a very interesting day. I was very very tired this morning so i just wore my GC hoody and my hair up and everything to school today with not much make-up on. I am sure i didnt look to great, lol....well moe told me that ian wanted her too tell me that he was her b/f and i am like uhhh okay?! as if i care, like i have said a million times he is the most annoying and boring person i know and i have no desire what so ever to hang out with him ever again. so i just said whatever too her and walked away cuz i dont wanna be thinking about him cuz he annoys me let alone talking about him. So newayz i was online and i didnt know he was on cuz i took him off my list and blocked him because i do not want to have nemore communication with him, so ashley sent me this convo they were having and he was talking about me in it... about how i am gay and a bitch and i "dont need too be rude to him" well first of all he thinks i am gay or something because tbg told him that well if u ask neone they will tell u tbg is the biggest lier in the entire world, and u can not trust nething he says, and plus he is 20 years old he does not need to be dealing WITH 15 year olds. So instead of being a pussy which is exactly what ian is i IMed him and i was like so why cant u say this stuff too me? and he was like ummm, okay and then he repeated himself too me, and i was like well i has tbg ever seen me bang a gurl or even kiss a gurl?? NOPE, because i NEVER have, and all i write about in here is all these different guys i like, so come on he has too be retarted to believe that but then again we r talking about ian, lol....well newayz i was like the bitch part is true i am a bitch to people i dont like but i am not guna be all nice and stuff to people i like so come on who isnt a bitch to people they dont like??? yeah thats what i thought, and the "you dont have to be rude to me" part was pretty gay i know i dont have to be rude to him but guess what i dont like him so once again i am not guna be nice, and its not like i go out of my way to be rude too him, i ignore him unless he talks too me or about me and then i handle it, in the usual way, bitching him out <--- but come on everyone handels it that way except wait ian, cuz he would just rather talk behind peoples back, but newayz i thought yelling at him online was kinda 2nd gradeish so i took it upon myself to call him and let him know how i feel, and he was all like i dont need ur drama i dont need ur drama, well guess what? i wouldnt have ne drama if it wasnt for him and tbg, so its there drama not mine, i just enjoy bitching to him about it. and tomarrow if he talks too me about me looks at me or even breathes too hard around me guess who is going off on him ME...and i am guna enjoy it....yesterday for the very first time in my life i threw up on purpose after i ate a meal, cuz me and my friend have been talking about going on a diet together and i was wondering if that would be easier then a diet, well it was terrible (that doesnt mean i am not guna do it again) but it was terrible, it was all gooy and like solid not watery like normal through up and i gagged forever b4 it finally came up!!....well i think ia m going too bed now! lis
1-9-03 11:14
I AM IN 4TH HR RIGHT NOW AND I AM DRUNK AS FUCK!!
1-10-03 6:20 p.m.
Well I feel terrible, and i have sense yesterday! Every single day this week i have been on some kind of drug (including alcohol) and my body is like worn out i can tell, i wias supposed too meet kristie somewhere tonight and smoke a lil weed, but u know what i dont think i can handel it, and i feel sooo sick! If neone who is reading this wants a lil advice NEVER do any sort of drug 5 days in a roe, and guess what caffeine pills suck, cuz when they start wearing off, u totally got a terrible trip, and ur a fricken bitch and can hardly walk (well prolly only if u take like fricken a million like me, lmao...so dont! hahaha....this whole weekend i have decided too stay home, and just give myself a rest so on monday i can start all over again, lol....kristie has never done acid so i told her i would get her some too try, so i got someone too talk to chris for me and he said he cant, but i got hooked up today after school....:) so i am excited cuz i havent done it in soo long but fricken scared out of my mind at the same time, cuz...its sooo addicting! well i am guna go like pass out now, peace...Lis
1-13-03 8:47 p.m.
I am in second hr right now and i took these awesome pills that made me VERY VERY happy, ericka is right here and she is like bitching at the computer, lol...is great!! GUESS WHAT EVERYONE??....i like someone and he likes me to :) and he is sooo hott and i have like him sense last year...erica is hilarious, she is bitching bitching bitching, lol....well i am going now because i am happy, lol....peace!
11:17 a.m. 1-14-03
I am in 4th hr right now and my friend told me she thinks she is pregnant, and she is guna keep the kid, wow i cannot believe it....i saw my new lover today, but havent talked to him yet, i skipped most of this class yesterday to see him and it was great! he is soo hott, lol...i just wanna eat him up, lol...i hope he liikes me! well newayz, i think i better get ready too skip cuz i wanna see him, lol...peace!!
| 1-15-03 |
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| Mood: In "Like" <--- lol |
1-15-03 11:19 a.m.
I am bored, 4th hr is boring...but we have a sub today so its all good. OMG, my 'new" lover is sooo hott, lol...i already talked 2 him for a lil while today and for like an hour lastnight, and i wrote him a note, i kinda feel gay writting him notes, but oh well, i was bored and thinking about him, so what else am i supposed too do?! I am going too to skip the second half of this class AGAIN, but its okay cuz my teacher isnt here. Randa and Dani are talking about the fact that i dont eat, lol...oh well its not that big of a deal, i obviously eat enough to stay alive and thats about it, lol...well i think i am going to go do something or something, lol cuz why type in a typing class if i dont have too?! lol...peace! OMG HE IS SOO HOTT.....lol
| 1-16-03 |
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| Mood: Pissed/Hurt |
11-16-03 11:22 a.m.
"i got some shit on my mother fuckin chest that i need to get off cuz if i dont ima fuckin explode or summin now look this is the story about some little fuckin girls that i know it goes like this its so easy 4 me to make enemies any more its sicknin people r lookin 4 an excuse to jump on my shit list stickin their noses in shit that isnt none of their business i never, asked, cared, gave a fuck or wanted oppinions now im in the position that i dont wanna be in shit i neva had no beef with u corny son of a bitches"
Okay well i am fucking pissed, yesterday my "new lover" was all like do u wanna go to clinton township with me after school, and i was like ummm sure so i called my mom she said it was cool, and then u wanna know what the fucker did?...he fucking left me at school and i sat here in this god damn building untill 4 fucking o'clock...and then i talked too him last night and he played fucking dumb and shit and i am still pissed, but whatever, and i feel liky my fucking appendix is exploding or something i fucking started too cry in 3rd hr, but i cant tell my mom cuz if she takes me too the doctor then they will take my blood and see all the fucking drugs i have been doing, life fucking sux and i am pissed....oh and then scott fucking comes up too me "whats wrong" what the fuck do u think, i told him not to talk to me and then i walked away, and then...some god damn gurl was walking so fucking slow in the hall way, so i was like "could we walk ne god damn slower?" and she was like "do you have a problem with how slow i am walking" what the fuck do u think retart if i am bitching about it then i obviously have a fucking problem with it, you fucking whore, and i think its very obvious i am pissed, so i am getting offline now! peace!!
| 1-21-03 |
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| Mood: siiiiiick |
1-21-03 4:34 p.m.
The first thing i did when i got home from school on friday was lay on my bed and fall asleep and i didnt wake up untill saturday but guess what i didnt leave my bed, and then on sunday i still didnt leave my bed, and on monday i did only to go to the doctor so he could tell me i have a 104 temp and i have phnemonia, and then today, well the only reason i left my bed was because i cant stand it anymore. the doc told me not to go to school all week, but i cant just miss exams, so i am guna go tomarrow even though my mom doesnt want me too, its only a half day so i am sure i will live. todays my brothers b-day he is coming over later, but i am sure i will sleep through his visit, oh and i havent had a vouce sence friday either, all the hacking made me loose it :(...oh and to make things even worse, my "new lover' doesnt like me nemore :( and i dont know why he just suddenly doesnt so whatever he is really hott and everything, i wanna hang out with him and stuff, but oh well, i am sure i will live! i feel like i am guna be siick, and i dont know why cuz i havent eaten nething so i dont think there is a reason i should puke, oh yeah wait...I AM DIEING! lol... my "x new lover" <--- lol thinks i told some people something, well if u ask ne of my friends they know that i dont tell other people important stuff, the only person i tell is ashley, and she goes too PH so its not that big of a deal, and i didnt even tell ashley this, so obviously it wasnt a huge concern too me!! grrrrr, things are soo annoying these days, especially when i dont get my way :( which doesnt seem too happen too often! well i am listening too ICP right now..."what is a juggalo? let me think for a second" lol....i love this song, well i am guna go lay down, and get all rested up for tomarrow so i can wake-up at 6:30 :'(...and i didnt do my HUGE homework assignment, and i am not going too!!!..peace
| 1-22-03 |
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| Mood: Tired/LaZy |
1-22-02 8:20 p.m.
"They call me Hektik
Cause the way the pain is interjected
You talk shit you gonna regret it
Fuck it, you said it
Watch your mouth fool
I'm on the move
Time to play
For words you say
One level of pain on display
Bitch back off
Too late your bitch is spread out, you jack off
Keepin you wishing that you was dead off"
I just got out of shower and i am waiting for my hair too dry so i can straighten it cuz i am too lazy to use the hair dryer. I went too school today and it wasnt too bad, i coughed alot, but i was happy i got outta the house! I had my history exam today and i didnt really know the answers so i made a lil pattern on my answer sheet, lol...it was like a dimond it looked pretty cool, lol...my "new lover' ignored me once again! so whatever, i guess there is not much i can do sense according too him i am a snitch and everything?! which doesnt make any sense but anyways...i need to finish my study guide for algebra so o will at least get a D- in that class, and i do need too pass, but i am too lazy too do it, so i am not going too. i know i will regret it later but tough, algebra isnt really my strong subject!! i am playing a trick on ashley right now, i do that from time too time, just for fun, lmao! this one is a great one i am not guna say what it is cuz i am sure that "the one person" that is involved is prolly reading this, lol but oh trust me its great! well i am guna finsih my mischiveous deeds, lol...oh yeah and chris tice and andrea came over for a sec today with ashley, and i was showing then my new room, and hes all like why do u have chicks on ur wall? I HAVE GUYS TOO....but geeze it doesnt mean i am gay damn ashley has a life size britney spears in her room...lol oops sorry ash! lol...peace
| 1-24-03 |
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| Mood: lil worried about exam! |
1-24-03 11:47 a.m.
I woke up at liike 9:30 today and had too go to school even thought everyone else had it off, my gay sickness caused me to miss some exams that i have too make up now, i did one already and it was easy it only took me 35 minutes, and i have to go back at 1:00 to do the spanish one, and it is not going to be easy at all...and i know its guna take me along time, i was just trying too study, lol...but its soo boring i cant so now i am online, lol...no one is home and if they are they are sleeping, la-la-la i am bored!! I HATE SPANISH I HATE SPANISH I HATE SPANISH!!!!! me and my "new lover" are talking again but its not cuz he likes me (i dont think) its because i have something he wants, and no its not what ur thinking, lol....ya'll have nasty minds!! I am starving my mom just left too get me McDonalds :) that makes me very happy, lol. I have a huge paper i gotta write this weekend, and i am not guna be home all weekend except like sunday night probably, so i dont know when i am guna get it done, and its worth 300 points, and its due monday, its the first grade for second semester :(...HAHAHA I went too the mall for a lil while yesterday to get something for my nephew, and...tyler was there, he works in yonkers, LMAO!!! hahahaha i thought that was funny, he was imbarassed cuz i saw him there, i was talking too him and my mom was like wow he seems like an airhead, lol i was like no mom he is burned out, lol...omg his brain is soo fried, its hilarious, he fricken lost a lung from smoking so much pot, hahaha! my moms like wow...i was like yeah! i think its great~ but newayz, i am guna go and find something too eat to hold me over untill my mom gets back with my chicken nuggets...peace! oh yeah and my "new lover" is soo hott! lol
| 4:33 p.m. |
|
| Mood: Blah |
4:35 p.m.
"Here's my heart rip it apart
remember how i hope you choke on the bones
Heres my house key
so while im sleeping you can come in and kill me
come in and kill me
come in and kill me
come in and kill me
come in and kill me
come in and kill me
come in and kill me
kill me
kill me
kill me"
My spanish test took like forever, i started it at like 12:30 and didnt get home untill 2:15 i had a section with 100 questions and then and essay section, and i had too write everything in spanish, so it sucked!...but exams are finally done, THANK GOD!! lol...i am hungry and bored, as you can tell cuz i have written a whole fricken shit load in here today and its only 4:38...its freezing in here, brrrr, well i just suddenly became in a PISSY MOOD...i will tell you about it later! peace!
| 1-25-03 |
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| Mood: Happy |
1-25-03 5:56 p.m.
Well I just got home, i was driving, lol by myself! my parents aren't here so i stole the car for awhile, but shhhh, dont tell anyone, lol! it was great i felt like i had soo much power, i cant wait untill i get my lisence! well i am getting ready too go again i need to buy some morning glories, lol not the flowers the seeds, for some purpose of my own, lol...be back later, peace!
12-26-03 12:41 a.m.
"Maybe i like bloody, murder music, you know shit like " stab your fuckin eye"
Maybe i like eatin shit like Tylenol PM's cuz 5 or 6 will get you high
Maybe i like punchin people i don't even know, i knock em flat up fuckin out (PAH)
Tuck some money in they jacket with a note that simply reads " i had to let some anger out" (sorry)
Maybe i only hang with weirdos, and hoodlums, and junkies, i keep em be my side (what up)
Maybe mam doesnt understand a friend is hard to come by, so i'll keep what i can find
Maybe i got 2 felonies, tattoos on my neck and i always paint my face..."
Me and ashley went and saw falling darkness, omg it sucked soo bad it wasnt scary and the movie itself was just gay, what a waste of money, i can usually sneak in, but...this time i couldnt and i broke a nail trying so it sucked my "new lover" is interested again, and i couldnt be happier. I got the new and last icp cd tonight, its not as good as i was hoping, but whatever, the last song is cool, it talks about how they follow God and everything!...well i am getting off now, cuz i am at ashleys and i am bored so i am guna go do something,lol...peace!!
| 1-26-03 |
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| Mood: Bored, and suddenly craving canDy |
1-26-03 9:37 p.m.
I am really bored i took a shower, washed my hair, shaved my legs, and straightened my hair then i painted me nails (black of course) and then i wrote a report that was over 600 words, and watched the super bowl half time show, and i am still like soooooooo bored!! i am listening too the new icp cd i got, lol...surprise surprise, and i dont wanna go to school tomarrow :( but i am guna get there early and me and kristie are smoking a bowl :) that makes me happy, lol...there are alot of people online but no one too interesting, la-la-la...Thank Goodness my nails have finally dried...i wanna call my new lover, lol...well i dont wanna call him but i wanna have some communication w/ him right now, lol...but i know thats not guna happen he is prolly watching the super bowl, lol even though its pretty gay and not that interesting...and now i am guna work on my site or something even though i cant really think of nething too do on here, hmmm....okay i know i am guna add more icp pix, fun fun!! peace!! Lis
| 1-27-03 |
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| Mood: Tired |
1-27-03 10:41 p.m.
I am tired, but cant sleep cuz i slept from 5 to 9 today soo..i cant sleep now, and i dont feel good i think i am getting sick again. i hate second semester i hate it soo much i wanted too shoot myself today. I got gym 4th hr and i DONT KNOW NEONE, except these stupid 2 freshmen bitches that live down the road, but i am not even about to be nice too them...i hate it soo much! and the teacher hates me, she is such a bitch i wanna punch her in her god damn head, and then send her too hell. and then randa and heather hall arent in my lunch nemore, so its me and kristie, thats all i know except like amanda and stuff, but i would rather sit with kris, cuz amanda just makes out with her b/f all lunch hour, and then after school i had detention and there were some annoying boys in there, and today just sucked big time!!!...and i am getting a fucking "D" in algebra and i told my mom and she flipped, well guess what? AT LEAST I AM PASSING...thats more then i can say about last year!! and kristie brough weed today but didnt bring paper or a bowl...lol..what the fuck did she expect me too eat it or something?? lol...but were smoking it tomarrow morning, so i now i gotta wake up early AGAIN...and jeff, jenna's b/f got expelled for weed today so thats not cool!!...okay i have a headache so i am going too bed...Peace!
| 1-28-03 |
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| Mood: Pissed, i dont wanna do gym! |
1-28-03 8:07 p.m.
"I hold a bloody axe, dress in hatchet red
We speak in languages people don't understand
I send faygos via punted clear across a staduim in fashion
Only fuckin juggalos could ever demand
I got ninjaz in my backyard wearing Anybody Killa paint
I'm thinkin What the fuck is going on?
Then I see the platinum on the wall, and I realize
The carnivals been right here all along, so lets bring it on"
Okay i dont know whats been going on lately, but i have been soo tired. As soon as i get home from school i sleep untill its time to wake-up and go back too bed. I talked to my lover for a lil bit today, but whatever, he is soo hott, lol! and i HATE GYM...i hate it soo much i felt like i was in hell, i wanted too die the whole time. we fricken ran today and it sucked soo bad, i wanna get out of it, but there is no way i can unless i dont wanna graduate, and i do! lol...and its kinda funny cuz there are these gurls in there that are dating 2 of my ex's lol...when i was getting back together with one of my ex's this summer, he had a g/f and i new that but she was at camp or whatever, and i knew he didnt really like her, so i was dating him, well the gurl is in my gym class, lol so i thought that was kinda funny, and then the other gurl was like OMG YOUR ALISSA? i was like yeeeaaah? and she said this guy she was "seeing" at the beginning of the year was always talking about me, saying i was the last person he dated and stuff, and he talked good about me so thats pretty awesome i guess!! i wanna hang out with my lover soo bad, i like him soo much! but who knows whats guna happen!!...i am getting offline now, but i will be back on later...peace!!
| 1-29-03 |
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| Mood: Sad |
1-29-03 9:36 p.m.
"Mother whats wrong
and where the fuck has father gone
and there's that bottle
creeping up on me again
there's that bottle cap underneath your bed"
Thank God Kristie wasn't at school today, cuz we had a drug search and i know she would have been caught with something, cuz we have been planning on smoking before school, but she keeps forgetting too bring the bowl, so i brought one today, and i was in second hour, and over the loud speaker, it says "everyone please stay in your classrooms, teachers dont let anyone leave, we have police officers here, and 6 dogs, and we will be checking lockers with the dogs and the police, and some random chosen classrooms" well my locker wasnt seached thank God cuz i had a bowl in there, but my classroom was one of the ones too be searched, so i had fricken pills in my back-pack...ILLEGAL ONES!!! not just pussy ones like adderal and caffeine pills...they started with an "S" but anyways i took it outta my bag and shoved it in my sock, lol and when they searched my stuff, of course there was nothing in there and when they searched me they had me take my shoes off, and stuff but never checked my socks, i had those knee high ones on, THANK GOD....cuz i was about to piss myself! lol...everyone in the class looked at me, cuz they know i always have something and there like ur guna get busted, i was like great...and when this was all over i saw my friends and they were like "did they find nething did u get caught" i was like DAMN guys back off, lol...but, gym still sucks and i hate it and we have too run again tomarrow, and i am so so not looking forward too it!! and my lover doesnt love me, i dont even think he likes me nemore, so thats why i am sad, i am very sad this suxh ass! CUZ HE DOESNT HAVE A REASON!! but whatever..peace!!
| 1-30-03 |
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| Mood: Exhausted |
1-30-03 9:54 p.m.
Nothing too exciting happened today...gym was gay we had too run again and i only got like 17 laps in 12 minutes, so that sux big time, lol...andi did all my homework :) and i made my schedule for next year i am taking general life science, and earth science, cuz i failed my science class last year so i am guna have too take 2 next year or one when i am a senior and i dont wanna take one when i am a senior, so i am just guna take 2 i think i will be able too handel it...and i took phsycology...i hope it wont be hard, my mom kinda talked me into taking it, and basic geometry, american lit 1&2...a teachers aid...and speech!! so i am all set for next year, lol...THANK GOD after this year NO MORE gym for my lazy ass! lol...and i am guna try and go to bed right now so i can wake up early tomarrow so me and kris can smoke a bowl, lol...yeah i know i am bad, but hey thats the only way i can make it through the day!...lol peace!!
| 2-1-03 |
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| Mood: Blahh/Tired |
2-1-03 11:45 p.m.
I went too bed realy early lastnight, and i didnt even take any pills that make me sleep, so thats awesome!~ me and ashley went too see final destination 2 and i had money but i didnt feel like paying so ashley said she was guna go buy a ticket and i would sneak in, because i have done it before so i know how, well i went in the corridoor, and a security gaurd followed me in there, and hes like "what are you doing" and i was like "what are you doing" and he was like "your not trying too sneak into a movie are you"...and i was like "no i came down here too smoke, why dont you leave me alone" and he goes, "so what are you doing"...and i was like "why dont u leave me alone" and then i started running back too where ashley was and he chased me, it was kinda funny, but i had too pay for the movie...it was good! but i cant believe that guy had such a fit, lol....havent talked too my "lover" and probably won't i guess i am just guna give up, even though he is soo fricken hott, but he is a jerk, so whatever!...and my whole body hurts from the exercise in gym, i know we dont do much, but its more then i am used too!!...and it sux, i dont even get a break on the weekends :( lol....i am such a wimp! and i need too start looking for a job big time, i really need one i am guna be 16 in 17 days, and i really need a job, because i need and want money, and my mom wont stop bitching about it, and i am guna wish i had one when it is time for me too start making payments on my car, when i get one in may!! well i am guna go too bed because i am tired and bored....peace!!
| 2-2-03 |
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| Mood: PISSED!!!! |
2-2-03 6:34 p.m.
"I blow ya throat piece off (hey)
And you gone spray blood everytime you cough
Cuz I'ma murderer (Like That)
And it's time your learned
If you dance with tha devil
Then yo ass get burned
Affiliation
Gang bang professional
Me and yo murda was intentional
Your momma gonna need theropy when you die
Cuz I'ma sever your head
And send yo momma yo eyiieaa
Bye Bye
These Rydas don't die
Bye Byie
C'mon killa come try
Bye Bye
Buckshot go boom
Bye Byie
Rydas in the room"
"Look at me
Gangsta, Khakis and last
Shotgun barrel to your mouth hole
Blast
Blow yo Adam's apple
Into apple sauce
Call yo momma
And tell her bout her horrible loss
But I guess...no...fuck
Fuck yo lud
Cuz I ran out
And I bail out in a black truck
I don't even wanna see yo face no more
I'ma rip it off and then punch your skull"
As you can tell by the song, yeah i am pissed, i wanna fucking kill someone, oh and i know who! trust me i know who...but oh well i am sure when i get too school tomarrow and i take those wonderful wonderful pills, i will be all better. Heather talked too my lover and nope he has no "intentions" and thats cool with me cuz i didnt even know the guy, but what isnt cool is he has no reason, hmmm!! but oh well, everyone keeps telling me i can do so much better, like constantly, so i guess i am just guna have too do better!! Anyways, i didnt do much today i woke up and went too church, fun fun...and then went too chi-chi's and ate, yummm, it was good...came home and did my homework, and watched tv and here i am, i never do anything on sundays though, i love to just lay around and be lazy! a month from tomarrow is when the baby is due (my nephew) at first i didnt want the kid, cuz i dont like babys, but i am getting excited, so i think i am guna love this one...:) well i better love it! lol...i have been working alot on my site lately, because i have felt kinda depressed lately, i dont know why, but i have so i havent wanted too do anything just lay around. i have been thinking alot about my uncle larry lately, and as much as i love thinking about him, i hate it all at the same time, it makes me feel terrible, even when i think of the good times!!...wow i am starting too cry right now so i dont wanna talk about this anymore. oh guess what i got my period in gym on friday, i know all u guys wanted too know that, lol...but geeze of all the times for it too come, thats when it had too, grrr...being a gurl sucks! lol well i am getting offline now, i think i am guna eat something and do the treadmill, and then take some pills that make me sleep...peace!!
| 2-4-03 |
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| Mood: Pissed |
2-4-03 8:10 p.m.
"What is life?
Life is like a big obstacle
put in front of your optical to slow you down
And everytime you think you gotten past it
it's gonna come back around and tackle you to the damn ground
What are friends?
Friends are people that you think are your friends
But they really your enemies, with secret indentities
and disguises, to hide they true colors
So just when you think you close enough to be brothers
they wanna come back and cut your throat when you ain't lookin
What is money?
Money is what makes a man act funny
Money is the root of all evil
Money'll make them same friends come back around
swearing that they was always down
What is life?
I'm tired of life
I'm tired of backstabbing ass snakes with friendly grins
I'm tired of committing so many sins
Tired of always giving in when this bottle of Henny wins
Tired of never having any ends
Tired of having skinny friends hooked on crack and mini-thins"
Nothing too exciting happened today...i didnt feel like working at all today so i didnt!! My mom seems too always be pissing me off lately, i cant stand it anymore i just wanna beat her in her damn head. I fucking got in the car 2day after school and i was all in a good mood and everything and i was like so what did u do today? and then she started screaming at me about how messy my room was, well guess what if i gave a fuck about my room it would have been clean and it wasnt so obviously i dont care so SHUT THE HELL UP!!!! so then i started being a bitch because she doesnt need too be all fucking pissy too me, and she fucking hit me and wouldnt buy me ne food shes all like, you cab starve with the bitchy attitude, and then she went on and on about what a bitch i was and how i was "evil" <--- exact words!! and how she hated me and shit like that, and then get this she tried apologizing too me like 2 hours later HAHAHAHAHAHA....yeah like i am guna be nice too her after that! God Damn she pisses me off, i wanna slit her throat and get this hell over with!!...and i was talking too ryan (my ex ) like 2 minutes ago and he is all sayin about how brian told him i was always talking shit about him and stuff, well i dont even think about ryan anymore, and i dont think about his g.f either and he is all sayin how i talk about his gurl?...hmmm thats interesting seeing how i dont give a fuck about either of them (well i do about ryan) but whatever, i dont even care nemore everytime i talk too him it ends up in drama so i dont even need his shit he fucked his life up thats all i gotta say!!....well i am guna go too bed cuz i am tired, and i have not slept at all at night recently so i am actually excited about sleeping tonight, lol....peace!!
| 2-6-03 |
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| Mood: TIRED!!!!! |
2-6-03 5:44 p.m.
"My hurt inside is fading
This shit's gone way too far
All this time I've been waiting
Oh I cannot grieve anymore
For what's inside awaking
I'm not, I'm not a whore
You've taken everything and
Oh I cannot give anymore
My mind's done with this
Ok, I've got a question
Can I throw it all away ?
Take back what's mine
So I'll take my time
Driving humbly down the line
Each cut, closer to the vein "
I have a terrible headache i think i am dieing, i took 4 too many pills today, cuz guess what?? i must be immuned too them now or something, and they dont have a good effect anymore, they just make me feel terrible, so i took twice as much as i usual do, and now i am paying for it, lol....i have a huge hustory thing that is due tomarrow, and i have had all week too do it and guess what? i havent even started on it yet!...and i know i am guna regret that when i am up all night typing it!!....well gym sucked today, we had too run and do like a million push-ups and crunchers cuz some gurls got caught smoking in the locker room yesterday!!...well i wasnt the one who was smoking so why the hell did i have too pay for it?...that pisses me off! and i am very tired and need sleep, lol...so i think i am guna go take care of that! peace!!
| 2-7-03 |
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| Mood: Sad/ Depressed as hell |
2-7-03 11:28 p.m.
I feel terrible right now, me and tom have been like best guy gurl friends for over a year, and everytime a gurl gets in his life thats not me (cuz were only friends) things just go bad, last year when he was going out with a gurl who i like to refer to as SATAN, we never talked and when i saw him i was so happy, and he would just kinda ignore me, and act as if it was not big deal!!...i think its cuz i have always liked tom and neone who is really good friends with me knows that, but i would never go out with him, i dont think i dont know its weird, we are just very close and always have been, well...i am normally the only gurl in his life and i guess i get jealous when he likes someone else, i get jealous and stubborn, because suddenly i dont matter nemore!!...i dont know i just get so jealous that it comes out in anger....and i dont know what to do!! i just wanna cry!! i feel awful!! well i am going too bed or something!...Lis
2-9-03 9:12 p.m.
On saturday as soon as i woke up my mom started making breakfast and we had french toast and sausage, it was yummy, and then i got dressed and went too my grandmas for about 2 hours, cuz she just got home from mexico, and then we went too my aunt nromas house, because her daughter my cousin becki who lives in colorado came home because she had a baby "riley jo" on new years eve and she flew in just for the weekend so everyone could see her, i held her for about an hour, and omg she is the cuttest little baby, it just makes me that much more excited about having a nephew, the doctor said about 2 weeks left. well we spent all day over there we got there at about 3:00 and didnt leave 'till about 8:30 it was fun, i never knew how cool my cousin anna was, lol...shes awesome i wish she was like my lil sister or something!! lol...she would be cool to have around all the time. I am guna be trippin on some major acid tomarrow DURING SCHOOL...i am scared, lol...that is some heavy shit too be on during school but oh well. my dad ordered pizza so this entry isnt guna be long, lol....my fricken icp cd, my new one "the wraith" got stolen during gym class along with my pills....grrr that makes me mad!! newayz, today i didnt do much, i went to church, went out too eat with the WHOLE family, there was about 25 of us...and then said my goodbyes too becki and her baby, and then i came home and i just felt like taking a bath so i did...and i feel asleep in the tub so i was in there for about 2 hours, lol...and now i am online!! fun fun stuff...i think ia m guna go watch tv or somethig and try too fall asleep, because i have too go to school tomarrow :( i just dont feel like it but oh well!...peace
| 2-11-03 |
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| Mood: Good Mood |
2-11-03 9:48 p.m.
I am in a pretty good mood and i dont know why, lol...things havent gone too good today and i still have a smile on my face, lol. My sister just called me she wants me too get my belly peirced with her on friday. i dont know if i want too, but if my dad says its cool then i am guna, just for something too do! I need a job soo bad! oh me and randa are in a fight we werent in a fight untill darin opened his huge ass mouth, but just wait he will pay tomarrow, i was just annoyed with her but now she is being a bitch and is all mad at me, and heather is being a fucking bitch too so i guess i am just pissed at everyone but i am still in a good mood, and i dont know why! lmao yesterday was my last cousenling session ever, its about time i started going a year ago, and yeah i think it has helped!! i ran 21 laps in gym today WOO-HOO lol i think i could be getting in shape, i dont know but dude i need too start working out for when i get my belly done, lmao!!! <---self concious well i think i am going to go to bed now or something even though i am hyper as hell, maybe its all the mountain dew, who knows!! lol....peace
| 2-12-03 |
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| Mood: ANNOYED!! |
2-12-03 6:01 p.m.
Well i am bored as hell, and i know it isnt valentines day yet, but everyone is talking about it and its all over the place, so i figured i would put that pretty lil picture on here, lol. Well i didnt exactly have the best day today, randa is mad at me or something because i was mad at her, i dont know, i dont even care she is such a bitch now that she has a b/f i dont even wanna be her friend anymore...and i didnt do anything wrong so this bitch isnt apologizing for shit. and charity went too the doctor today and i guess the doctor is guna enduce her baby on tuesday, the day after my b-day so i guess i will be an aunt officially on the 18th if not sooner. I am bored as hell right now, and v-dau sux...especially when u dont have a b/f. Last year i got presents :) lol...and this year i dont get anything, lol...oh well i am sure i will live....and i think i will write in here later because i am guna go do the tredmill for a lil while because i need too loose a lil poundage, lol...cuz i am getting my belly peirced, lol...katie is paying for it, so i guess i mine as well....i need drugs too put me in a better mood, oh wait i have drugs! lol :)....peace
| 2-13-03 |
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| Mood: Blah |
2-13-03 10:06
I just got home from the shower, Charity is either going too have the baby on tuesday for b4 tuesday, so thats awesome i am guna be an aunt in the next couple days, she was having pains at the shower, and everyone thought she was going into labor, but...i guess they were just pains cuz the baby was moving around inside her stomach. oh and by the way, I HATE VALENTINES DAY!!!...i am getting my belly peirced tomarrow...:)
| 2-15-03 |
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| Current Mood: HAPPY |
2-15-03 1:42 a.m.
School wasnt to bad today, i thought it was going too be alot worse, i didnt get anything from any special someones this year :'( but thats okay heather got me flowers, lol...i love her!! oh and my mom got me the DVD signs because i never go too see it. After school i came home and me and katie (my sister) decided too go get our belly buttons peirced, so i called ashley too see if she wanted too come with us and she did so we went and picked her up and we went too like 3 places, and they wouldnt let me get it done cuz katie wasnt my parents she was only my sister, so then we went some place else, and i used Katies ID, and it said i was 20 years old on it, and Katie used her fake ID that she uses too get into bars because she isnt 21 yet, it said she was 24, and the retart at the tatoo place fell for it, lol...so we got our belly peirced. I was soo scared, after i watched katies getting done i didnt even wanna do it anymore but i did, and it didnt even hurt, i was surprised. It bled alot though :( it kinda hurts right now but oh well i love it. And then after that we took ashley home and me and katie had too go out to eat with our mom and dad cuz we dont have boyfriends this year. Me and ashley had plans tonight but they kinda got ruined because i didnt get too her house untill like 9:30, and we were supposed too go somewhere at 7:30 i feel bad. Cuz she wanted too do something for my birthday oh well i guess. I am over at ashleys right now and she is upstairs we were watching a movie "SCREAM" because i am like upsessed with that movie, and she fell asleep so i decided i would see if anyone cool was online!!...well i am guna go clean my belly, and then finish watching the movie!!! ONLY TWO MORE DAYS UNTILL MY BIRTHDAY!!!!
| 2-15-03 |
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| Current Mood: Happy |
2-15-03 4:13 p.m.
I stayed the night at asleys last-night it was cool, lol tom called the cell phone at like 2:30 in the morning and ashley was sleeping and when she heard it ring she liked popped right up outta bed, it kinda reminded me of a horror movie, lol...and then she hung up on him :( so i didnt get too talk too him. But i think she was like half asleep or something so oh well, lol i just hope tom's not mad!! Well my belly still kinda hurts...i cleaned it last night and this morning, and i had too move the ring all the way through it and that kinda hurt but oh well, it will be all better in a few weeks.My whole family is comig over at 5:30 for some big dinner thing for my bday even though its not untill monday, lol...and i get my presents tonight :)...oh well i am not getting nething cool though, birthdays are boring when you get old, i am getting money from my grandma so i can get my hair died again, and i am dieing it purple...and katie paid for me too get my belly peirced, and my other brother isnt coming home from college untill next weekend, so i am guna have too wait for his present, and my mom didnt get me nething because she said that drivers training was my present, but whatever!!! i get a car in may when i get my lisence so thats pretty much my present from my parents....and my sister also got me some tickets for a show, but its not untill april or something!! lol....i cant wait too see what matthew and charity got me, cuz i dont know and i heard its really cool and i am guna like it alot!! Ashley is hopefully staying the night tonight, well i asked her too but i dont think she is guna, i bet u 10 million dollars that she will call me and say that her mom said no for some gay reason, but i know that her mom wouldnt say no cuz its like my bday...so she just prolly doesnt want too which is ignorant, because then i am stuck sitting here with my thumb up my ass or something all night!! I just took an IQ test and it said that my IQ was a 119, damn thats higher than average, am i a smart bitch or what, i think its true what they say..."drugs only kill the brain cells we dont need, so then we are only left with the smart ones" lol...well i am guna go finish straightning my hair!!! peace
| 2-15-03 |
|
| Current Mood: Pissed |
2-15-03 9:18 p.m.
WOW...i must be psyhcic or something cuz i knew i would end this night being pissed because of ashley and i am!!
| 2-20-03 |
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| Current Mood: Blah |
2-20-03 4:44 p.m.
My birthday was okay, nothing special but thats ok, thats the way i wanted it...i got a DVD player for my room :) and a new cd player and stuff, so thats cool! i havent been up to much lately, charity didnt have the baby yet which is so annoying!! My belly button looks cool and it doesnt hurt nemore, so thats awesome, and my hair IS PURPLE!!! it looks so cool though i love it, my mom hates it but whatever i dont care! i didnt go to school yesterday cuz i was "sick" more like i needed a day off, lol...well this isnt long but i have a shit load of homework too do!! peace
| 2-22--03 |
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| Current Mood: In deep thought |
2-22-03 4:59 p.m.
Yesterday was my dads birthday so we had a little dinner over here for him i only stayed for like an hour and then i went to the mall with ashley, cuz i needed to get him a present, i got him a book that he wanted he collects coins and its a coin collector book or something and i got him a DVD...i hope he likes it, lol and i got heather a bday present i got her a reallu cute photo album that says friends on the cover, and some candels, i hope she likes them!! Okay well my sister EX boyfriend is a jerk they were together for like 3 years and he did "stuff" with her friend which is now her EX friend and katie (my sis) cant beat her up because then she would go to jail so on spring break when that bitch comes home from college katie is guna take me to beat her up, i am pretty excited, because she sounds like quite a pussy so i am sure i can take her. and scott my sister EX just sent me some really bitchy email, about how i need to get my shit straight b4 i start runnung my mouth, and he is guna tell my dad i smoke and stuff, lol whatever!! its funny cuz he said he was guna send all these bitchy emails i sent him to my dad but scott doesnt know that my sis has his password so she is just guna delete them, lol....RETART!! i am not doing nething today by choice, i just like to relax sometimes!! well...i am guna go, peace!!
| 2-24-03 |
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| Mood: Tired |
2-24-03 9:40 p.m.
well i am really tired so this prolly isnt going to be long. I guess charity is going in to have the baby at 4:00 p.m. on Wednesday, and the doctor said that she prolly wont deliever him untill early thursday morning which means i will have to be at the hospital all night GREAT!! lol...i was supposed to go to kristies after school today but i didnt so i am going tomarrow FUN FUN...ian likes me again, cuz i am 16 so now he can have sex with me or something...so i dont know what i am guna do cuz i like him too...but oh well!!....tomarrow is heathers bday, and i forgot too wrap her presents SHIT!...oh well and me and tom arent talking again and i dont know why, because i am not mad at him he must be mad at me but oh well, he will get over it!! well i am tired i didnt go to bed untill 1:30 a.m. lastnight i cant believe i even made it through the day, lol.... so i am going now! peace
| 2-26-03 |
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| mood: happy |
2-26-03 9:47 p.m.
well charity is in the hospital right now :) i am guna be an aunt tomarrow for sure i am very excited. well after school today i went with ian and we went to his house for lil while WOW he has a comfortable bed. and he was being really different then he ever has before, i dont know but i liked it...geeze now i am started to like him again and thats sooooooo not good :( cuz i know he doesnt want a relationship LIKE I DO...and i am guna end up getting screwed in the end, but oh well i guess its good right now! lol...and then we went too Jen's and we just layed the her bed for like an hour and it was fun :) he kept like rubbing me and stuff, awww it was the cuttest thing i never wanted it to end, i wish i could freeze time, lol and yeah we made out and stuff alot, lol at every stop sign and stop light and shit even when there wasnt one, lol....it was great fun!! tomarrow we have a half day at school, which is perfect so i should be out by the time charity has the baby, she better not have it while i am in school...i didnt do ne of my homework today :(...and i didnt dress for gym either but i took to many pills and felt terrible!!....well i g2g peace!!
| 3-1-03 |
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| Mood: Happy |
"Oh I believe there are angels among us
Sent down to us from somewhere up above
They come to you and me in our darkest hours
To show us how to live, to teach us how to give
To guide us with the light of love"
3-1-03 10:07 p.m.
IT'S A BOY!!! My nephew was born at 8:29 on thursday night (2-27-03) i was at the hospital all morning and then spent a few hours with ian at geralds, and then...went back to the hospital his name is brendan james, and he is soo cute, he is 7 pounds 5 ounces, and 21 inches long. I love him so much!! i just cannot believe my brother is a dad, it is soo weird, and i havent been doing to much lately just been spending alot of time with the baby :) even though no one ever wants to share him, lol so i have to grab him when i can!! me and my mom got into a fight yesterday she is such a bitch, i just wanted too hit her soo bad!! lol its really a funny story i wish i felt like typing cuz i would tell ya'll about it but i dont, lol....g2g peace!!
| 3-3-03 |
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| Mood: Happy |
3-3-03 9:57 p.m.
"They say I'm cocky
And I say what
It ain't braggin' motherfucker if you back it up
They say I'm cocky
And I say what
It ain't braggin' motherfucker if you back it up"
Well last-night i snuck out, and went out with ian, it was fun...lol we went too dennys for about an hour with gerald and jen, and then me and ian went back to geralds, it was fun not as fun as last time cuz i was being a retart and i feel bad cuz i think i ruined ians night, but i dont know i guess i am just weird!!...but before that i went too my brothers too see the baby again, and...thats pretty much about it. Today i didnt wake up untill 1:30 and thats cuz my mom woke me up, and then i went to my grandmas and then to my brothers and then ate dinner and then went to the mall, and hear i am!! i havent talked to ian much today i miss him, lol. he is so nice to me, i love it!! tomarrow second segment for drivers training starts, fun fun!!...its cool though cuz i will get to see ashley, i just wanna get my lisence already!!...life is guna be awesome when i do. i hate being 16 without my lisence!! i need a job too, i think i am guna have my mom drive me around places tomarrow and get a whole bunch of them,lol....well i gotta go~ peace!
| 3-4-03 |
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| Mood: Thirsty/LaZy |
3-4-03 9:51 p.m.
Second segment for drivers training started today, fun fun....mikes still in there so thats awesome, we all sit in the same spots, and the cow is in there too i hate her so much she called me and ashley a whore but whatever!! School was boring, i was tired the whole day at school, after school i went to matthews to see my nephew and then to ruby tuesdays to get some grub, lol...and then off to drivers training....and now my mom is bugging me about my homework, well guess what i am not guna do it!! because i am praying for a snow day tomarrow so i dont think we will have school *score* hahaha in 3rd hr today mr hammon was like "alissa i'll see u tomarrow morning" and i was like "why" and he was like "so u can clean my desk" cuz i was writting all over it, lol well i broke my led the second he said that so i was like LOOK i dont have ne lead, lol i was just messing, lol and hes like oh okay!! god he is dumb, lol!! i hate him so much!!....and my grade in there is struggling, i have a 90% that would fall to an 89% at ne time, lol and i dont wanna "B" but hey whatever i guess!! well i am guna go do something else now, like play hackey sack BY MYSELF!!...-peace!
| 3-5-03 |
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| Mood: LaZy |
3-5-03 1:03 p.m.
i didnt stay up to late lastnight cuz i wasnt to sure about the whole snow day thing, but guess what we had one, so now i am sitting at home being bored, lol my mom made breakfast *yummy* and i think i am guna go over to my brothers in a few minutes to see my lil nephew, but i hate putting on make up and stuff it takes so much time, i just dont really want too, but oh well i guess i have to or else i would scare the kid, lol!! well i dont have much else too say besides i am bored outta my mind!!....peace
| 3-7-03/3-8-03 |
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| Mood: TiRed |
3-7-03 12:50 a.m. (mid-night or whatever)
Its actaully the 8th, but whatever...i am very tired, and this is guna be short!! school was fine i got a "C" in gym thats gay but whatever at least i am passing i do not ever wanna take it again!! Softball try outs are monday i am nervous, i dont know if i am guna go yet or not!! maybe?! i am talking too brendan right now about sex, lol this is a very interesting conversation!! as soon as i got home from school 2day i feel asleep i had plans with ashley but i never got to talk to her cuz i was sleeping, so i didnt do anything and then i woke up and went to my brothers and here i am, i am bored!! and havent seen ian in like forever it seems like :( but oh well!! i am tired now...night!
| 3-9-03 |
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| Mood: guess..? lol |
3-9-03 3:43 p.m.
Yesterday as soon as i woke up i went to the mall with my mom to get some dressy clothes, a skirt and some cute tops and stuff because i had a wedding to go to and i needed some nice clothes, lol i got some new shoes too...we saw my grandma there and shopped with her for a little bit and then ate lunch then we came home and went to the wedding fun fun...it was only like 20 minutes it was really fast they didnt have any music or anything and i didnt go to the reception but everyone else did! and then i told my mom i was going with ashley and everything and i went with ian instead and i was with him for a while lastnight and then he took me to ashley about 12:45...we had fun!! lol...i like him alot but newayz, i havent talked too him yet today :( i dont wanna go to school tomarrow i can already tell this is going to be a long week. I woke up early and went to church this morning and then out to eat with my grandma and everyone else, they took brendan :).....well i am guna go take a nap or something now i couldnt really sleep lastnight~!...Lis
| 3-12-03 |
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| Mood: DepResseD |
3-12-03 8:29 p.m.
Things are going good with softball only 2 more days left of try outs thank goodness, today wasnt bad at all thank goodness, because i was really nervous because they were 45 minutes longer than usual!! yeaterday i had the busiest day, i had school softball, drivers training (i passed *smile*)....and then i had to eat shower and do my homework and then sleep and then make a little time to talk to Ian, cuz thats always the best part of my day, lol!!....things with me and him are GREAT!! lol i like him so much and he wants to go out with me too, and there is this reason that i am not supposed to tell neone which is why we are not going out and probably wont, but he is practically all mine newayz! I think if i asked him to go out with me he would, but i am not going to "the balls in his court" lol <--- and i dont think it is going newhere which is fine i guess!!...well after schoo today i had softball untill 6:30 and i think i did very good today, i came home ate, showered for A LONG TIME...lol i just needed too relax cuz my muscles are all soar and stuff, lol...and i shaved my legs and everything, and that always makes me feel better, hahaha! and i called Ian and left him a message on his cell phone cuz he is at work right now (i do that all the time just so he knows i care) lol....yeah i know i am weird. and i have homework to do so i am guna take care of that!!...peace
| 3-14-03 |
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| Mood: PisseD/ dePressEd |
3-14-03 8:49 p.m.
"It's a broke day but everything is ok
I'm up all night, but everything is alright
It's a rough week, and I don't get enough sleep
It's a long year pretending I belong here
It's a broke day but everything is ok
I'm up all night, but everything is alright
It's a rough week, and I don't get enough sleep
It's a long year pretending I belong here "
Today was the last day of Softball it was right after school untill like 4:45 and this was the last day for try outs and then at the end he told us if we made it or not, guess what?? I didnt make it. I am so mad, i am good, well alot better then some of those people who did make it. But whatever, i dont need softball!! i am bored right now i was supposed to hang out with Ian but he isnt answering his phone and he never called me, so whatever, but i g2g because i am not in the mood too type!!...Lis
| 3-16-03 |
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| Mood: "Moody" |
3-16-03 7:26 p.m.
"Cut my life into pieces
Ive reached my last resort
Suffocation
No breathing
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm, bleeding
Do you even care if I die bleeding?
Would it be wrong?
Would it be right?
If I took my life tonight
Chances are that I might
Mutilation outta sight
And Im contemplating suicide
Cuz Im losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me Im fine
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me Im fine"
Well today was a very boring day. I woke up at like 8:00 and went to church at 9:30 it was very very boring there was like this guest speaker guy and he sucked really bad i am sure what he was saying was great (i wasnt listening) but he spoke with no enthusiasm i think i might have dozed off a few times. After that we went to china lite with my grandma and grandpa and uncle danny and aunt tera and jonathon and Kelsey, *yum* i love chinese food. All my grandma and everyone else talked about was how my uncle is going to jail as soon as he comes outta hideing because he beat the shit outta my aunt. i guess he broke her skull and bruised her ribs and did something to her ear drum or something, who knows i dont even care nemore that was one messed up relationship, she is a gold digger and thats the only reason she married into my family, stupid bitch i am not saying what my uncle did was right but damn i would kick her ass once and a while too if i had the chance. Then i came home watched tv for a little bit, but i dont really enjoy tv to much nemore, so that was no fun, and then...i took a shower and shaved my legs and stuff, and did my homework well some of it newayz, and here i am!...see boring i know! yesterday i woke up at like 10:30 talked to Ian and then he came and got be about 12:30 i think....we spent the whole day together we went to geralds, his house, the mall, his friend ryans house, my house for a little bit, and then jens at night...i told my mom i was guna be home at 12:00 (midnight) or 12:30...but i guess she didnt understand the whole 12:30 thing and i didnt get home untill 12:30 and she got all mad because i guess i said i was guna be home at 12:30...so thats kinda why i didnt go newhere today, i wasnt sure if she was still pissed or not, so i thought i should stay clear of her, lol....my nephew's birth announcment was in the paper today, he is so cute, lol...okay well i think i am guna go straughten my hair now or something because i need something to do!...peace-
| 3-17-03 |
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| Mood: Blah |
3-17-03 4:19 p.m.
I am obviously exteremly bored, if i am online at 4:00 in the afternoon, i have nothing to do, this day sux!!...i took some pills that made me all dizzy at school today and then i mixed it with alcohol, because bobby was VERY drunk in 5th hr so i decided to steal his pop and drink it, and guess what?? IT WASNT ONLY POP IN THERE, LOL....he couldnt even walk straight, i had to practically carry him to 6th hr, he was all leaning on me and stumbling and stuff...well, i guess he got caught in 6th hr and got arrested :'( that make me very sad, aww i love bobby he is awesome, and now he is guna have too go to south :( thats no good, its actually very depressing. I am watching the thing about Elizabeth SMart right now on tv, she is home and that is so awesome, i feel bad for her, i dont know what i would do if i was taken from my home for 9 months...i think i would kill myself if it was at all possible!...lastnight i was contemplating suicide for no reason at all, and i decided if i could get someone to do it with me then i would, so i asked ashley (even though i do not want ashley to kill herself) and she wasnt to interested in it....so i guess for now its a no...but just think all my problems would be gone, life would be so much better for most people without me being here, and i would be in heaven and happy!! i would be with my grandma and uncle larry, i think that would be the best thing in the entire world. The only bad thing would be i wont be able to see my beautiful nephew grow up! ...well i think i am guna go now, if u have ne comments about anything at all, or questions u can go to the home page and scroll down to the comment box and let me know what u think, or u can just email me at lis_1stunna@yahoo.com ...peace
| 3-18-03 |
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| Mood: "Moody" |
3-18-03 9:06 p.m.
Guess what? I didnt do anything again today surprise surprise what a boring life i lead. Umm, school was fine, nothing exciting happened, i had an algebra test and i think i did pretty bad because i couldnt see Kyri's paper very good, lol...she doesnt right big enough! Yup Bobby deffinetly got arrested, everyone was talking about it today poor guy!...When my mom picked me up from school we went to Chi-chi's to get something to eat, i love that place but i always feel sick after i eat there (not good)...and then i came home and was trying to watch tv but kept falling asleep. So i went out into the rec room, and i dont know why cuz i never go in there nemore, and i layed on the couch and feel asleep for about 4 hours cuz the last thing i remember watching was judge judy. My dad isnt home yet...so the house is very very quiet tonight, i hate when its quiet. I am excited about this weekend. I have a feeling it is going to be good even though i have to be home at 11:00 now thats fucking gay, i wonder how long thats guna last?!...it makes me angry i feel like i am ten or something, but oh well...i remember when i was on like house arrest and i didnt even get to go anywhere, lol so i guess it is better then not leaving at all. Wow I was really depressed lastnight, i went to bed at like 10:30 and i cried and cried and cried untill 12:34...thats the last time i looked at the clock. I just dont understand so many things in my life, things i cant change, the worst things in the world, like death. I understand people have to die, but why people i love. I mean, oh geeze i dont even wanna talk about this right now, cuz i wanna actually get to sleep 2night, so i dont wanna think about it. oh yeah and i used to like school but i have suddenly come to hate it, i hate going everyday damn i hate waking up everydaY, i wish i could sleep for ever, and never worry about a thing, well except when i have those terrible dreams about my phobia (which no i will not share with you...lol) thats the only time i dont like to sleep, okay well i think i am guna go sneak some of my dads pain pills, cuz they make me sleep, cuz i am tired but i know i have to much on my mind to actually fall asleep, so i will write more later. Bye-
| 3-19-03 |
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| Mood: Sad/DepresseD |
3-19-03 8:19 p.m.
Okay well today has by far been one of the worst days in ahwile, and not for any reason cuz everything went fine at school and stuff, but i am so depressed. I miss my Grandma ALOT...i was reading her old diary thing and in just about everyday it says "alissa called me today to tell me how much she loved me, she is such a blessing" or "alissa came over/stayed the night today i loved having her" and i just wish it could still be the day where i could call her so she knew i loved her. I remember when i would use the pay phones at school to call her during lunch to talk to her and let her know i was thinking about her (same with my uncle larry) i just wish i could do that again, if i had one wish it would be to spend a day with my grandma and uncle larry just one day thats all i want...but i know it could never happen, untill i die! I am talking to jeff right now about this and he is being so nice telling me he is here for me and everything, he is great!! He has really made me feel alot better...well i think i am guna go to bed early tonight i dont feel like talking to neone besides jeff...night!
3-22-03 3:48
I am very very bored, lol. Yesterday after school i went with ian and was with him untill like 11:00 we didnt really do anything, but just being with him made me happy, lol <--- yeah dumb i know. Gerald is re-doing his room, we went over there...it looks really good, he has pink carpet now, lol...and green trim it looks really cool from what i saw newayz, i am bored now. me and my mom went shopping today i got some bras and underwear, and some tank tops and new belly button rings, and i got a new bathing suit, omg it is so cute, and i am so happy i finally got one that looks good on me!...and i went to best buy and i got Ian a cd that i know he wanted and just because i like him, lol. Well the baby just got here so i am guna go see him. I will write more later. Lis
| 3-24-03 |
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| Mood: PissEd |
3-24-03 10:01 p.m.
I didnt go to school today, i just didnt feel like it. I told my mom i was sick and she bought it *smile*...I am not in a good mood right now for many reasons. Well I saw Kob was online today so I had to talk to her sense she is always talking shit and saying how much she doesnt like me and stuff...so i asked her why I WAS NICE...yes i cant believe it either but its true, i was NICE...newayz, i asked her why she hated he, she said she didnt hate me she just didnt like me blah blah blah...so of course she calls up hova bitching, cuz all she ever does is bitch. and hova of course calls up tbg bitching...so of course what does tbg do??...starts bitching at me, about how i better hope he isnt mean to me next time we hang out or something, okay well first of all he is mean to me everytime i am with him. even though i practically kiss his ass i am so nice to him. and i do have many many examples of that...grrrr, they all make me so mad, all three of them i dont really like ne of them except for hova is okay, but what the hell is this like hate alissa day or something??...my parents told me we are moving today, so guess what? i get to go to a whole different town with people i dont know and go to a whole different school...I am just so happy *frowns*....but i dont feel like typing or nething so i am just guna go to bed or something...grrr life sux in every way. peace
| 3-27-03 |
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| Mood: Overwhelmed/ Exhausted |
3-27-03 10:09 p.m.
i am bored, and i shouldnt be because i still have alot of homework to do even though i have already done so much!! after school i went and got my hair dyed i wanted all the purple out of it so she had too bleech my whole head it was on for like an hour and a half total, maybe more...and it burned so bad i have such sensetive skin and it was terrible!...but it was worth it cuz now my hair is all one color, its blonde again...and that makes me very happy i dont think i am guna dye it again for awhile. school was fine boring as usual it went by very very slow 2day. my nephew came over for like 2 hours today my mom brought him into my room when i was reading (doing research for a paper) and so yeah he was kind of distracting me for awhile. So i am guna be up for awhile...if i do it. I am talking to my cousin becki right now she lives in colorado the internet is so great how i can just talk to my relatives and send pix and stuff...wow it just boggles my mind, lol...well i am guna go do homework or something now!! later
| 3-30-03 |
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| Mood: sad/mad/depressed |
3-30-03 8:43
BORED...yeah i did hmm let me think oh yeah thats right ABSALUTY NOTHING FUN TODAY. i woke up went to church and i was really tired and i dont know why cuz i didnt really do nething yesterday either, hung out with Ian, but we didnt really do nething but i dont care i was happy i was with him, umm....newayz the baby came too church and that was good cuz i held him the whole time so at least i was entertained while i was there, we sang my favorite song "as the deer" lol...okay newayz, then i went out too eat with my family, and then i came home and couldnt wait too call Ian, so i did. because i wanted too see him but he obviously didnt wanna see me, but whatever i guess i will live. i dont wanna go to school tomarrow i havent done my homework, and i dont plan on doing it. but i am too pissed/depressed to type right now i feel like i am on the verge of tears and i dont wanna cry!! so peace
4-3-03 9:52 p.m.
School was fine today, i sold a lil weed, lol so i got $40 which is awesome, but i have to give $35 to Mrs. Lamping, so i didnt really make any profit, lol. I have to give her the money, cuz me and ashley are going to a concert on the 12th and her mom paid for me :) cuz i didnt have ne money at the time. Ian came over last night that was nice cuz i never get to see him on the week days nemore, now that he quit gadzooks. I think Kristie is mad at me which sux because she is awesome, but i dont know for sure she has just been acitng weird around me lately, its kinda buggin me. When my mom picked me up from school she brought the baby, and then we went to the mall, after we took megan home, and...we got his pix taken and stuff, it was fun...cuz i got to spend the whole day with him. And then i came home and had a nice lil family get together thingy with my entire family besides Katie so there was like 8 of us...it was craZy. We ate some good 'ol KFC. lol...I NEED A JOB. i am soo sick of being poor. But nothing else is really going on, because nothing exciting ever happens in my life, lol...so i will write more later...peace
| 4-10-03 |
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| I am so tired, But I cant sleep |
4-10-03 8:46 p.m.
Well this week has been GAY, lol...Friday at school, first and second hour were normal and then my third hour went to the library cuz we were working on some project or whatever, and all of a sudden all the lights went off...and they didnt come back on, and let me tell you when there are no lights on at school it is VERY dark, like pitch black. So then they decided to send us home cuz we didnt have any power, me and Ian went and got something to eat and did some other unimportant stuff, and then came to my house where there was no phone no tv no computer no lights no heat...nothing, and it was freezing in my house. Ashley ended up staying the night over here on friday because she didnt have ny power either, along with the rest of the people in this gay town, and we froze, omg tbg and ian came over and it was sooo cold and dark, lol i couldnt even see there faces, and let me say that yes it is incredibly hard to take a piss in the dark, lol. Saturday night me and ashley stayed at my brothers cuz he has power, i dont know why but it was a good thing, cuz of the baby and everything. Ian and tbg stayed over there with us...and then me and my parents decided to get a hotel. So we stayed at the holiday inn sunday and monday night. Tbg and Ian came to swim with my at my hotel, and some kid took a shit in it, lol so they closed it, it was rather funny. And there was this 11 year old gurl named andrea there, and she just started talking to me outta no where, and didnt stop untill i didnt see her nemore. her and tbg got into this huge argument over God...it was pretty funny, they were all yelling at each other in the hotel and stuff, lol. It was quite entertaining. OMG...on saturday we hit a cat. lol tbg was driving, and ashley was in the front with him and me and Ian were in the back, and...i heard this thump and i looked up, and ashley was freaking out yelling you hit a cat you hit a cat, lol...omg it was hilarious, i guess you had to be there but it was the funniest thing that happened all day. I have been seeing Ian alot this week, and i like it, lol...so i havent been doing much this week besides hanging out with him. which is exactly what i want to be doing. On saturday (the 12th)...i am going to a concert with ashley and bonnie, i cant wait its guna be fun, good charlotte, new found glory, less than jake, and the disasters <--- dont know the disasters. But i am guna go straighten my hair...peace
| 4-15-03 |
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| Mood: Stressed/Confused |
Me & Less Than Jake Pix 4-15-03 5:28 p.m.
The Concert was so awesome. I had a really good time. I wore a new found Glory shirt there but we were on the floor and it was so hott, i ended up taking it off and just wearing a wife beater. we were so close, billy was like right there infront of my face and yes he looks just as hott in person as he does on tv. and me and ashley met less than jake...we went to use the facilities right inbetweem GC and NFG and less than jake was out there and we got our pix with them and there autographs and stuff it was so awesome (to see pix go to the pic page)...i didnt do much yesterday Ian came over untill four and then he went to work. My mom got me a tanning membership so i am not guna be so white nemore, and that makes me happy its embarassing being so white all the time. me and my mom went driving around all day today to help find me a job, i applyed at a few places so we'll see what happens, and then we went to richmond to look at the cars, i wasnt to empressed with nething there i found a really cute car in town with a 10 disc cd changer, and 2 door which is exactly what i want and its a little more than 8,000 which i can afford, or i can get my moms car which is really cute too but it doesnt have a cd player which i will have to buy later, and its bigger then what i want cuz it has 4 doors, but its only prolly guna be 6,000 which would be so much better. I have enough for that saved up so i wouldnt have to make any payments on it or anything, i would be all set. but then there is this CUTE cavalier or however u spell it and its teal 2 door, and it has a sun roof, and a cd player....but its 9,500 which i can afford, cuz 10,000 is my limit but i would have to make payments on it for 20 months which is fine cuz i would have it all payed off by the time i was 18...geeze the real world is so tuff, lol...all the decisions, i wish someone would just give me a car so i didnt have any choices to make...my dad has this car that used to be my grandmas and it works fine and it has a cd player, but its white and it is soo geeky looking, but he said he would give it to me for free....NO PAYMENTS EVER. thats a great deal but i dont really feel like having a junky car cuz by the time i am 18 i am guna want a new car and have to go through is whole process again anyways, i just want something i can have for along time. hmm...i dont know what to do. but i am starving and i feel like getting something to eat, so i will write more later...Lis
| 4-20-03 |
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| Mood: hungry |
4-20-03 1:21 p.m.
Well I havent been doing to much lately, cuz i have been sick, not the flu or anything i have just had a real runny nose and a bad cough and stuff its getting quite annoying so for the past 2 days me and Ian have just been laying around all day...but i enjoyed it just cuz i am with him. Today doesnt really seem like Easter, i woke up and just got ready for church no big deal, and during the whole church service i played a game on my sisters cell phone, and i got the high score :) i got a tanning membership and a stuffed rabbit that i really wanted, for easter and some candy and stuff, i just had some chocolate and i kinda feel sick now :( my mom made all my favorite foods and she said it should be ready in about 30 minutes, so i am all excited, lol yeah i might gain a couple pounds but i am willing to risk it, lol its a holiday for crying out loud. I have a big assingment i have too do for school and we go back on tuesday and i know i am guna be spending all day monday with Ian so i think i am guna do it tonight, fun fun. i probably wouldnt do it but its a group project thing and i dont want heather (my partner) getting all mad at me. The baby is over here right now, but he is sleeping which is good cuz he makes a lot of noise, i never knew how much a little baby could change your life. I have an away message up on AIM right now and Gerald has left me 20 messages, i havent read them yet, but i can say i am a lil nervous to read them sense he seems to always have something to bitch about. lol maybe i will just get offline and not read them, lol. I think i know what i am guna do about the whole car situation, i think i am just going to get the grand prix, me and ashley are guna have the same car now, lol which is kinda weird but cool all at the same time, It's the smartest thing too do thats the only way i wont go into debt, i dont think i am guna have much money left over for Cali though, so i dont know what i am guna do about that, Oh well i guess i will figure something out. Well i am guna go see if the food is almost ready cuz i have a headache and i think its cuz i am hungry. Peace
| 4-22-03 |
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| Mood: LaZy/BoRed |
4-22-03 4:43 p.m.
School started up again today. I couldnt sleep lastnight cuz i was all used to staying up late. I was soo tired this morning, but i couldnt be late for school because Ian took me. Cuz the baby stayed the night lastnight and i think he is staying again tonight too. fun fun! I still have alot of homework to do and i dont wanna do it but i know i have too. So thats what I am guna be doing later. My house is so quiet right now my dad stayed home sick from work and my mom is tired from staying up with the baby all night so everyone is sleeping, even the baby i just fed him and he fell asleep :) so he is laying on the couch right next too me and he keeps making noise so i hope he isnt waking up. School was boring today nothing interesting happened. Nothing fun ever happens. wow this is a boring entry but i have nothing else too do all i am doing is downloading music. Bowling for soup is an awesome band i downloaded some of there stuff and its awesome. well i am guna go do stuff, lol like eat....i have been eating sooo much lately its not even funny. I know i am guna regret it in like a week but oh well. -Peace
4-24-03 4:28 p.m.
I dont wanna be in this class
It is so gay
All we do is sit in here every fuckin day
This is such a waste of time
It would be more fun to lay down and die
I hate school and everything its about
All the teachers do is scream and shout
I feel like shit
but no one will see
My life is a waste i dont wanna be
I wanna go home and fall asleep
To lay there and die would be great for me!
Well I am bored outta my mind, as usual. School was gay, but school is always gay. Speckles came too school today :) he is hardly ever there, it was exciting, i love having him there. he wants me to hang out with him at the grotto on friday night, but i am guna be with Ian all weekend, which is fine cuz I am always happy when i am with Ian. His birthday is saturday. and were going to get his lip peirced he is all excited about it, lol i think its cute. I hope he has a good birthday. My parents are guna be so pissed, my report card is guna suck ass and i am guna be grounded i know it and then i will like never be able to be with Ian. I think i might be getting 2 "D's"...not good, not good at all. But there isnt anything i can do neither of those teachers give extra credit. I tanned today after school and i got burnt i can feel it on my shoulders and stuff, i am all sore it sux, i guess its true what they say pain is beauty, lol. or beauty is pain, whatever, but i am guna go watch tv or something fun like that. peace
| 4-28-03 |
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| Mood: Sick |
4-28-03 5:52 p.m.
Yeah well i am bored, lol. Ian's b-day was saturday and instead of getting his lip peirced he got a tatoo instead, i picked out the design :) its like a tribal band thing around his left arm. I like it alot, its deffinetly hott, lol. It took two hours. we went and got ashley so i could have a lil bit of entertainment while he was getting the tattoo, it hurt pretty bad he said so i kinda feel bad, but oh well it looks awesome. and when he was over that night we were laying in bed, and i fricken grabbed it, i forgot all about it and i was pulling him closer too me, i felt sooooooooooooo bad, but he is so nice he didnt even get mad. I like him so much. Newayz, i didnt go to school today i felt really really sick this morning, and i really have all day. But I plan on going tomarrow i was guna go today i had my make-up on and everything but i had like a gut wrenching feeling in my stomach and i knew i wouldnt have been able to make it through the day. Nothing new is going on with me. Me and Ashley are guna hang out on Friday instead of me and Ian, so that should be cool. We'll probably go to the mall, fun fun *rolls eyes*...but i am guna go lay down peace-
| 4-30-03 |
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| Mood: Blah |
4-30-03 8:59 p.m.
I stayed home "sick" from school today again. But i wasnt really feeling too sick this morning, i just didnt wake up from my alarm, and...sense i wasnt feeling 100% normal i decided i would stay home, lol. I think my mom is on too me, lol so i am guna be going for the rest of the week. Nothing is really new with me i have a pretty bad stomach ache right now but i think its just cuz i ate alot of chocolate today. my easter candy was just sitting there right infront of me and i couldnt say no. Friday me and ashley are going too see phone booth and then she is coming over here, and she is guna stay the night, i am pretty excited seeing how i dont see her to much nemore, we should have fun. Ian is moving in friday so thats why i wont be hanging out with him, but thats cool it doesnt bother me too much. It is lightning outside right now so i am guna get off the computer...peace.
| 5-5-03 |
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| Mood: SAD/DEPRESSED |
5-5-03 9:49 p.m.
Died in first period is all I hear
And Im suddenly too shocked to cry
My lips tremble, my hands shake
And all I can do is ask why
You had your whole life ahead of you
Now theres just a memory of a friend
Whose life that had once been promising
After 15 years, came to an end
Now our lives have lost all meaning
Our hearts oblivious to the pain
Were all searching for an answer
For the sunshine after the rain
It shattered the hearts of hundreds
Just to try to tell you goodbye
Walking down the silent hallways
Confused eyes all asking Why?
Now I can finally see the answer
Through the tears that Ive cried
I realize God took you away
To have you closer to His side
WOW....what a day this has been. My friend Jessica DIED. i found out when i got too school today, Randa told me. She went too a party this weekend and was doing all sorts of drugs which isnt knew for her, she was always doing that stuff...she snorted some adderal then some coke, and then some exstacy, and then her nose started bleeding, and she started foaming from the mouth when she was trying to say something, and then she turned blue and passed out, and the people at the party freaked out and just left her there. and then when they woke up in the morning and she still wasnt awake, they called the cops and said they just woke up and found her that way (real nice friends huh?)...and shes dead now. i cant believe it, wow 4th hr was soo depressing today. I cant believe this its soo terrible. This has truly taught me a lesson, no more drugs for alissa, nope not at all. not even the little shit like adderal, nope i am not doing nething. I have been mopeing around all day, i am so depressed. she owed me 3 bucks too, but i guess she can keep it. i already miss her. I am going to her funeral I am guna find out when it is tomarrow when its in the paper...well i am guna get offline now and go too bed, peace.
REST IN PEACE JESSICA...I MISS YOU!
| 5-7-03 |
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| Mood: Depressed/Sad...I miss you Jessi |
5-7-03 4:52 p.m.
the young girl sits in her room,
thinkin of her life.
all the pain she has encountered,
should she end it with this knife?
her eyes are red, her heart is dyin,
her breath is heavy as she continues cryin.
her pain is so clear
her hatred easy to see,
shes lookin at the photo of what she used to be.
she was happy, she was havin fun,
but all she wants to do now is shoot herself with this gun.
nobody knows that she doesnt want to be,
nobody will ever realise that girl is me!
i hate my life, i wish i were never born.
kill me now i dont want to wake next morning.
Well I am still pretty depressed and sad, i think its getting worse as time goes on i just cant believe Jessica isnt guna be around anymore, she was so pretty, and funny, and nice. Tomarrow is her funeral and I am going. I am guna feel a little ackward there because i wasnt her CLOSE CLOSE friend, but i think if i didnt go i would regret it, and i wanna chance too say good-bye. All i can think about is i hope she is in heaven, i dont think she is but the paper said she was "starting a new life with her savior jesus christ" so i dont know what too think. But I hope she is. School is still very depressing because Jessica isnt around 4th hr is soo different now, and everyone decorated her locker so everytime i go too it, it makes me sad. If she were to walk into school tomarrow i know exactly what she would be wearing she would have a lil short jean skirt on and some knee high boots and she would have her lil purse with her that she was always carrying around. Her life has deffinetly changed mine for the better and i thank her for that, but i wish she didnt have too go, unless she is in heaven, then i am glad she has passed away cuz things would be so much better for her now, but i really dont know if she is or not, and i guess i wont know untill i pass away. The funeral is guna be hard tomarrow, i know lisa is guna be there she was her best friend and i cant even imagine what she is going through, I havent seen her sense i heard about jessi's death because lisa hasnt been too school. All i know is if ashley were too die, i would go crazy so i hope lisa is holding up good, i guess she wrote 420 on Jessi's locker, and that is just like her, but i am thinking Jess would want it know other way but for Lisa just too say the same sweet partier she is, lol...but who knows, as long as she doesnt do ne serious shit i guess shes cool. even though i heard jessica's lungs failed, prolly from ciggarettes and weed, and thats why she couldnt breathe so i hope Lisa learns a lesson from that, but who knows.
Today at lunch I beat ian in thumb wrestling, its like the first time i have beat him fairly , lol i was pretty proud, lol...but i dont feel like talking all happy right now, all i can think about is jessica. I dont handle death very well and, i dont know this is just pretty hard on me....Lis 5-8-03 4:50 p.m.
Now you had me on my knees
Begging God please to send you back to me
I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep
You made me feel like I could not breathe
Now all I wanted to do was to feel your touch
And give you all my love
But you took my love for granted
Want my lovin' now
But you can't have it
God
God send me an angel
From the heavens above
Send me an angel to heal my broken heart
From being in love
'Cause all I do is cry
God send me an angel
To wipe the tears from my eyes
I went too Jessica's funeral today, yeah it was hard. It was so sad, there were alot of people there. LIKE ALOT OF PEOPLE. she was still like purple or blue or whatever, she looked terrible, i just wanted too hug her and take her home with me, but oh well. I guess she was a christain and that makes me so happy, it relieves me alot. my mom said that she prolly was a christain b4 she got into ne of these bad things, and once ur a christain God doesnt let u go, you stay a christain even if u dont live like one, and God knew that she wasnt going too change her life so it was just time for her too go and live with him now, and i think that is very true. But alot of people accepted the Lord today at the funeral because of Jessi's death. So jessica did not live in vain. I cried alot alot alot...i couldnt hold it in ne longer, i balled. but so did everyone else. they played the song angel and i'll be missing you at the funeral i guess those were some of her favorite songs, and the guy sang "just a closer walk with thee" i like that song, it was sad. but i am soo happy to know she went too heaven. but i am guna go get something too eat now, peace.
| 5-12-03 |
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| Tired/depressed |
5-12-03 10:07 p.m.
I am bored. i have been bored all day. i did some of my spanish homework, this project is guna take me longer than i thought i wish i would have started it last week. School is so gay nemore, i just cant stand it. OMG they painted over Jessica's locker, thats so fricken rude...it made me mad. Lisa was at school today, its the first day she has been too school sense Jessi died. She was a wreck though. I feel so bad for her. i know i dont think i would be ever going back too school if Ashley died, i would prolly fricken shoot myself or something. I tanned today, i am getting kinda dark but whatever i dont even care nemore, i could care less if i was tan or not, its my mom who wants me too go so i just keep going. Speckles wasnt at school today :(...I worked a little but on my scrap book and i cleaned off my desk, which is something i NEVER do...i also did a lil report thing for lit...now all i have left too do is biology but i have that 6th hr tomarrow so i think i will just wait cuz i am tired. I am happy i found enough energy too starighten my hair tonight cuz i kinda wanted too look nice tomarrow for school sense my hair has been crappy for a while. i havent had enough energy too straighten it, i am too lazy. I am watching wrestling with my dad right now so i think i am just guna finsih that and then go too bed, i am tired. Peace
| 5-13-03 |
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| Mood: AnGry |
5-13-03 5:27 p.m.
GRRRRRR my mom makes me soo mad, she is such a bitch i just wanna fricken smack her, or beat the shit out of her untill she fucking dies.She is all like will you do this for me at this time blah blah blah and i am like yeah whatever no big deal well she just comes over here and she is all like YOUR SUPPOSED TOO BE DOING THAT UPSTAIRS RIGHT NOW, i was like i already did it and shes like well dont forget this and that and blah blah blah its like oh dont bother too say please or thank you or nething you stupid bitch i dont have too do shit for you. God damn i hate her.
school was fine nothing exciting ever happens. speckles didnt come again stupid fucking idiot. and i dont feel like typing i am in a pissy mood. peace
5-19-03 9:10 p.m.
I went too school this morning but i didnt feel good cuz these damn allergies, so i came home during 5th hr, i am sure i could have made it through the day but i didnt do my 6th hr homework, and my 5th hr teacher MS. CARELTON was pissing me off as usual so i decided too leave. the funniest thing happened today my mom started bitching to me about smoking in my room, and i was all like i dont smoke its so grosss and blah blah blah and shes like yeah u do there is always a huge pile of ciggarettes outside ur window and stuff and i was like where the hell do i get them from and i was like thats so gross i cant believe u think i would do that, so then like 5 minutes later she started apologizing to me about accussing me of smoking, lol even though i smoke in my room all the time, omg it was great. but i g2g now i am feeling depressed and i dont wanna write about it cuz ni dont want the whole world to know, peace
| 5-26-03 |
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| Mood: ExCiteD |
5-26-03 12:12 (midnight)
I am at ashleys right now, i came over here at about 6:30 and it was so weird when i went up too the door chad, ian's friend answered it...and he doesnt even know ashley and he is like all at her house and stuff, lol it was cool though cuz he is really nice he was over here with chris pontiene ashleys like cousin friend guy. me and ashley decided to walk down the street from her house too the school and go play on the swing set cuz we havent done that in like forever. well on the way we saw a ratcoon, it was pretty sweet it was climbing up this tree and me and ashley wanted it too come down so we were all like throwing rocks at it and stuff, and then all these people who were driving by wouldnt stop staring at us, and we were getting all out of breath from chucking those rocks cuz were real outta shape and yeah so we kept on walking and went too the school and went down this really long slide, and it twirled, and then we just sat and talked on the swings, it was fun. and now here i am online and i have a stomach ache like a mother, and i feel like i am dieing for real...i was almost about too cry like 20 minutes ago, and it wont go away. i am leaving ashleys at about 2 a.m. and i am staying the night at ian's just cuz i wanna be with him, no other reason. oh yeah so i passed my road test on saturday and i got a job at dairy queen my first day is tuesday, and...my grandma joyce got me a cell phone. omg today in church there was a spider on me and i totally started freaking out and everyone was staring at me, it was funny. but i dont feel good so i am guna go. peace
5-26-03 10:17 p.m.
Yup, I stayed the night at Ian's lastnight. It was fun, we didnt actually fall asleep untill 6:30 in the morning, but we only slept for like an hour, i felt bad he had too work at 5:00 and he was soo exhausted we slept all day he came back over here after we woke up and stuff, and we slept the whole time, i hope he isnt haveing a bad time at work, i left him a message that said he could come over tonight after work if he wanted too, but i dont think he will i think he will be too tired. i got a cell phone my grandma dropped it off. i havent used it yet though. well i am tired and wanna go too bed, peace
| 5-29-03 |
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| Mood: Stressed/Overwhelmed |
5-29-03 8:12 p.m.
Well i have my lisence now, and let me tell you, its gets old real fast. lol...i dont even really like driving to much nemore, but i prolly will once i get my new car *smile*...i havent been up too, too much lately i hate my job and i never wanna go back but i am pissed cuz i have too go tomarrow and i dont take adderal nemore, so there is no way i can fucking enjoy it. ian is coming over after work tonight he doesnt get out untill 11:00 so i am guna be up late. i cant finish my lit homework cuz my stupid ass didnt bring home a book, and i hate it 1st hr tomarrow, and i dont wanna stay home sick with my mom considering the fact that she has been QUITE THE BITCH lately, and i wanna fucking beat her in the damn head she started yelling at me in the car today and Amanda was in the car with me, about how i broke her shit or some gay fucking thing like that i was like whatever i didnt say nething cuz i didnt wanna get into a huge bitch fight infront of my friend. but god damn someone really needs to shoot her in the damn head, well i am going too take a shower now.
| 6-5-03 |
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| Mood: Sad |
6-5-03 5:12 p.m.
Hmm, i am bored, and not hungry at all but for some reason i cannot stop eating, lol...i am talking too tubby right now, i love that gurl soo much. newayz...nothing interesting happened at schoolm in biology we disected frogs but i didnt want too cuz it was making me sick right after i started so she said i could watch which was still very nasty but at least i didnt really have too do nething. Ian picked me up from school and then we did some things he needed too do and went too his apartment for a lil bit, and thats about it. and then when i got home i took my moms car and went too the tanner. i hate working at dairy queen that was like the worst decision of my life. Old Navy is supposed too hire me in like a week or two so i think i am just guna quit dairy queen even though i just started. I just sent a picture of Jessica too Tubby, i cannot believe she is gone i mean its just so hard too believe everyday in gym i always look at her spot and think she is guna come ne minute now (cuz she was always late) and i know exactly what she would be wearing she had these white capri's she got from aeropostale and she would wear a white wife beater. she always looked soo cute even in gym class, i feel bad for tubby she was ALOT ALOT ALOT closer with her then i was damn tubby and her were REALLY close, i cant even imagine something so terrible like that happening too me, i envy tubby she just seems too strong. she is sick right now though and i feel bad cuz i think she might have mono and trust me thats NO fun. I am listening toon "ANGEL" right now and that just makes me miss Jessica soo much more. well i dont even wanna think about this nemore, so i think i am guna get offline, peace
| 6-12-03 |
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| Mood: Tired |
6-12-03 11:43 a.m.
*Yawwwwwn* I just woke up and i am still tired. School is over WOO-HOO yesterday was our last day. I went too Ians graduation lastnight with his parents his lil brother, and his grandparents and stuff, i was nervous about meeting them but...i think it went okay. lol
Things are going pretty good except i HATE MY JOB and i have too work today *tear* i am guna be in a bad mood all day just because i know i have too go there later and i have too work tomarrow too and tomarrow is guna be longer then today *frown* softball starts on saturday...i am kinda excited for that but who knows, i guess it just all depends on if it goes good or not.
ashley leaves for Cali on saturday i feel bad, cuz i was supposed too go but i cant go because of softball and this gay job and i didnt wanna leave Ian. I hope she has fun newayz though, cuz i am sure i will have a job next year and everything too and i am not guna be able too go nemore i bet. even though i hope i will be able too!! I talked too Nick Heacock recently which was weird cuz i havent in like forever it was cool hanging out with him me and ashley hung out with him and tyler down by the water on saturday. it was cool. well i gotta go take a shower and stuff....peace
| 6-14-03 |
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| Mood: Blah |
6-14-03 10:37 a.m.
Ashley left for Cali this morning. she called me at like 8:15 too tell me by she is prolly still on her way too the airport right now her plane leaves at 1:15 i think i feel bad i am not going, but i have too many other things. Softball started today i went too the opening saramony and our first game is at 12:30 but i have too be there at 12:00. I am hungry right now!! hmm...i didnt do too much yesterday. i woke up at like 12:30 and sat around and ashley came over it was funny she was all in her pajamas and stuff and i was like what the hell?? and she got locked outta her house, so we went and got mcdonalds for me and burger king for her, and then we went back too her house and i climbed through the window (i always have too she is too scared) and then she took me home well she realized she didnt have enough gas too get home cuz her light was on and it was on empty and she didnt have ne money so then i followed her back home and she made it then i went too work came home and went online for a lil but, then went too bed and then i think my sister was drunk lastnight but i'm not sure she came into my room all loud and turned the lights on and watching tv and had like 10 bags of chips, and she wouldnt leave me alone, lol its kinda funny, but i was tired when i woke up this morning. well i g2g get something too eat *yum* coney island :)
| 6-17-03 |
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| Mood: Bored |
6-17-03 4:28 p.m.
I am bored outta my mind right now, but i guess if i am online of course i am guna be bored, i hate ashley being in Cali it sux...usually when i am bored i will just call her and we'll hang out but now theres no doing that, it sux. I am talking too Gerald and Chris Czajkia right now, fun fun!! There is nothing too do, i got paid today and bought some toe rings, went too the tanner and ran some errands for my mom and thats about it. We had another softball game lastnight but the team only had like 6 players there so they forfitted so we won :) but then we scrimmaged them. but we didnt finish cuz it was getting boring. Ashleys aunt and uncle came into dairy queen the other night i thought that was nice, lol i like too wait on people i dont know cuz they dont bitch. I wanna hang out with nick heacock again, but i forget his cell number and he is like NEVER online nemore, now that he has a car....oh yeah that reminds me i am going too test drive my car tonight, and then we are buying it tomarrow night yeah i am pretty excited. Finally my own car woo-hoo. lol....well i g2g i think i am going too get a cell phone right now...peace
| 6-23-03 |
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| Mood: Upset |
6-23-03 11:16 p.m.
What can I say, Life Sux!! I got into an accident with my new car. That was fun...that same night i had too work i locked my keys in my car i didnt have money too get them out had too borrow money from Ian, i made him late for work, and then i scrape up my car, then when i got home got into a huge fight with my parents cuz there fucking idiots. Yeah things just dont get better. I dont know when i work next and its prolly tomarrow when Ian has his day off, and were guna go swimming and stuff, but i am pretty sure i am guna have too work. Cuz my gay boss put me on the schedule and extra day. Yeah it sux, and after she does it she asks me if its okay, what the hell am i supposed too say??...No take me off?? I had a softball game tonight we mercied them it was fun. I like when we win, were tied for first right now which is cool, we beat Kayla Lorhs team tonight, and i am so happy cuz i hate that stupid bitch. Oh and i died my hair and it turned out all fucked up, like brown or something i dont know so tomarrow i have too go buy more hair dye and then dye it again. Grrrrrrr....my hair is guna fricken fall out i dye it soo much. and i have been soo pissed off lately, that i bit down all my nails :( but i am guna go watch t.v. fun fun....Lis
| 6-26-03 |
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| Mood: Mostly Good |
6-26-03 11:09 p.m.
Just got home from work, i still hate it, and i have too go in tomarrow morning, fun fun NOT. Hmmm, i didnt do too much today i woke up went too Chris's house, then we went too the store so he could buy me some ciggarettes, sense MY BOYFRIEND decided he wont buy them for me anymore because "I should quit" <--- thats bull shit. newayz, then i went too bobbys house, and bobby always has something for me, i took 2 vicodine and a valume, yup i was a little fucked up, lol i was scared i wouldnt be able too drive home, lol but i made it, and saturday i am hanging out with him as soon as i am done at Ians open house. I wish i was hanging out with bobby right now, but i havent talked too him sense i left his house, he is just like a REALLY nice guy. I dont think he has ever had a g/f before but i think he would be such a good boyfriend, he just cares which is the most important thing, like he wants me too be happy, and yeah he would ALWAYS stick up for me, and Ian never sticks up for me, but it doesnt matter Ian is my boyfriend and Bobbys not. then i went too work, omg there was this guy there and he comes in all the time when i am working, and...he always flirts with me, he always says how he thinks i am soo hott, and blah blah blah well today he goes "do you have a lost and found here?" and i said no, and he handed me a napkin with his number on it, and he goes 'well I lost my number maybe u could FIND something to do with it, like call me" then he gave it too me, lmao it was soo funny, then i threw it away, hahaha. First of all i have a boyfriend and if i didnt my next choice would be bobby without a doubt. and plus this guy was nasty, lol i always give him a discount and stuff though, just cuz its fun too have him come in it makes my night not soo bad. I think i am guna go watch t.v. for a little bit or something i wanna talk too bobby but he isnt online, oh well i guess. peace
| 7-9-03 |
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| Mood: LaZy/ Tired |
7-9-03 11:19 p.m.
well...work is still gay, lol. And thats pretty much it. Well on the fourth of July i didnt wanna work, because i wanted too hang out with either bobby or Ian right??...so i was thinking about calling in sick too work, but i had called in sick too work like 2 days before that because i had gotten super super drunk and was throwing up and had a bad hang over and blah blah blah and my mom thought i had the flu so she called in for me, so i didnt wanna call in again. So i went too work and i was making a thing right well all of a sudden i turned it like a wrong way or something, i guess a way your wrist isnt supposed too turn, and...it popped and i was like oooohhhh shit. then i went on my break, and it kept hurting and it bruised and swelled up. well, i guess i had a "cyst" in my wrist and when i moved my wrist it popped and all the fluied leaked into my joints or something and blah blah blah bottom line is i sprained my wrist so i didnt have to work they sent me home and i went and got really drunk and high with bobby, well bobby didnt get high only i did, but newayz.... sense i did this lil accident with my wrist at work they had too pay me for the days i couldnt work sense i had a doctors note, and they have too pay my hospital bill, so they hate me there now. but i dont care cuz i hated them first, i hated that job ever sense the beginning. tomarrow morning i have too work with carol i am sooo not looking forward too that she is the owner and i hate that bitch. she grows marijuana in her back yard and i finally figured out where she lives, so me and bobby are guna go steal her plants from her, lol or call the cops on her just because i dont like her. oh yeah lastnight when i was leaving bobbys house too go too Ians, i fricken got pulled over by the cops cuz i was going like 26 or 27 or something like that miles over the speed limit, lol...but he just gave me a warning, THANK GOD!!!!....oh and i dyed my hair pink yesterday too, it looks fricken awesome, i love it. i deffinetly stand out now, lol but my mom hates it AS IF I CARE, we got into some huge ass fight lastnight and blah blah blah but too make a long story short she admitted she was a bitch, and apologized i'm like THATS RIGHT BITCH!!! well i think i am guna go eat or drink something or something, i just had a whole can of mountain dew even though i am not supposed too because i am like dieing or some stupid shit like that, so i have too go too the doctor on monday and get all these tests done AGAIN...LOOK DOCTORS YOU'VE TESTED ME ONCE I AM NOT DIEING OR I WOULD HAVE FRICKEN DIED BY NOW!!!! but oh well, i am guna go drink some more mountain dew basically because it is bad for me and i am not supposed too...lol oh and my horoscope told me today that i like someone alot more then i am admitting too, one of my friends. hmmm i wonder who that could be...lol peace
| 7-18-03 |
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| Mood: Fed Up |
7-18-03 11:47 p.m.
Its just one of those days
When you don't wanna wake up
Everything is fucked
Everybody sux
You don't really know why
But want justify
Rippin' someone's head off
No human contact
And if you interact
Your life is on contract
Your best bet is to stay away motherfucker
It's just one of those days!!
Yesterday instead of going too Bobbys house and hanging out i decided too stay home, and just relax i was feeling deprsesed about alot of things, i ordered a large pizza and ate 6 peices, and then watched a movie...and then i went and visited my Uncle Larrys grave, i couldnt find Jessica's or my Grandmas cuz i wanted too see theres too but oh well! *frown*
Life has basically been the same...on monday and tuesdays me and ashley always go too china to eat cuz i love it there, china meaning a chinese buffet, and she doesnt like it so she always watches me eat, lol. I havent seen too much of Ian lately sadly, i miss him. i wish i was with him right now, but oh well. I think we are getting closer, we kinda went through a little hard time where i thought we were guna break up but everything turned out okay!! *smile*
Work is sooo Gay, i think i got fired tonight, as soon as i got there i was walking back too the time card things too punch in and i said out loud not loudly because i was just talking to myself but apparently enough for pot head cough cough i mean carol the owner to hear me say "I fricken hate this place" and she comes up too me and she was like what did u say?? and i said "i fricken hate this place"...and i was like just because i dont feel good, cuz i had too think of a reason or whatever, and shes like well thats not my fault and i was like i never said it was and shes like well if u hate it so much then i guess your guna be finishing up this week and then your done, i was like u stupid bitch, thats not what i said but hell yeah thats what i was thinking i hate her, but newayz, i am just guna keep showing up untill she stops putting me on the schdeule, cuz i dont think she really fired me but who knows. Oh and she grows marijuana in her back yard so i am guna call the cops on her tomarrow and get her arrested HAHAHA STUPID BITCH SHOULDNT HAVE MESSED WITH ME!!!....and i am tired when i got home my nephew was still up so i layed in bed with him for about 30 minutes, and he fell asleep and so did i...and then i woke up and put him in his bed, so now i think i am going too go too bed!! Cuz i have too work tomarrow, they have me working like every fricken day this week well not really but 6 days in a row i hate that i was hired too work 12 to 15 hours a week and they have me working like 24, thats bull shit!! but oh well, i wish i could say the money was good but no it goes so fast that nope i dont think its that good i deserve too get paid more i do just as much work as everyone else but sense they have worked there longer they get more money, grrrrrrrrrr. well i am guna go watch tv and eat or something cuz thats what i enjoy doing when i have time!! lis
| 7-27-03 |
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| Mood: Tired |
7-27-03 11:25
Thursday i went too my aunt norma's house too see my cousin beca because she was visiting from Illinois, she is soo awesome, i think we are alot alike but i am a little edgier but i guess i am a lil edgier than everyone, lol. I liked seeing her, then i didnt see her at all on friday cuz i spent the day with Ian we both had to day off, we went too see "Pirates of the Carribean" i thought it was guna be soo gay, and i didnt wanna see it but i acted like i did cuz i knew he wanted too see it really bad, well...i liked it i thought it was really good and i think i am going too see it again with my mom, lol. she wants too see it too.
I was guna go too warped tour on sunday a week from today but of course i have too work so now i am not going nemore, *tear* It makes me soo mad cuz i hate my job, but oh well i guess!! I think i have too much responsibility with this gay job and it pisses me off, not even fun and too much work.
well they havent done nething about the bitch "cough cough i mean carol the owner of dairy queen" growing marijuana in her back yard yet which pisses me off cuz i want the bitch too go too jail so then i can point and laugh at her, cuz i hate her, i think in a few days when i know no one is home i am guna go take pictures of it. maybe then they'll act faster on it.
well saturday i had too go too my cousin craigs wedding. It wasnt so bad.
Mostly because beca was there. and anna, she is cool too. anna is another cousin of mine. well i went too the wedding and left right when it was done so then i could see ian for a little bit before the reception well the reception was in marysville and i am sooo bad with directions, and i didnt know how too get there i didnt even know the name of the building so i just kept driving and thank god i saw the bride in the parking lot, so then it was all good me and beca and anna went too the party store too buy some ciggarettes for me and they didnt even card me so i got too buy somm it was awesome.
today all i did was go too ians we fell asleep and i woke up at 4:45 and i had too be too work at five so i hurry up and changed and left his house and went straight too work. Bobby was at DQ when i got out he was in the parking lot waiting for me and he was soooo wasted it kinda made me mad, he was like "how did i get too dairy queen" and i was like "what" and he was like "i was at the grotto and then all i remember is waking up at dairy queen" i was like smooth bobby so then i was like i will call u as soon as i get home he was like okay well i called and his mom said he wasnt home that makes me mad cuz he is drunk he shouldnt be out driving around i hate when people drive drunk, yes i have done it before but if i could have prevented it without getting into trouble i would have!!...well i g2g see if he is home yet!! Peace
| 7-29-03 |
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| Mood: Bored |
"Well i talk
Too much
To myself
And i turn my back on my faith
It's like glass
When we Break
I wish no one in my place
i'm so tired
of my mood
and sleep comes
with a knife, fork and a spoon
you're so pale
in your face
you let life
get in your way"
7-29-03 11:09 p.m.
BBBOOORRREEEDDD!!!!...I am soo bored, there is nothing too do. I woke up this morning and went too China with ashley cuz we havent gone in awhile, and then we went too the mall and i bought a new hoody, and a dvd its called "strangeland" omg its sooo strange, that movie freaked me out. me and ashley watched it at billy and bobbys today and then hung out there sense Ian never called me too hang out even thought we both had the day off today, so i call him at about 6:00 and i was like why didnt u ever call and he was all like "i dont know" grrr that drives me CraZy. so then i played softball we won :) and...now i am here with nothing too do. i have too work tomarrow night and i have a double header, so it sux cuz i cannot play they already hate me enough at work i dont wanna piss them off nemore, by asking for another day off. I do work alot though. Oh yeah and my cell phone got stollen out of my car, it must of happened while i was at work i always leave my windows rolled down a lil but so my car doesnt smell like smoke and it gets all aired out and everything, well...someone stole it, but i think its soo gay cuz they didnt take my cd's the first thing i would take is cd's and money, but the fuckers cant use my phone newayz, cuz they dont know the password for it, lol....and i am getting a better one sometime this week newayz, a sprint. well i am guna get offline and watch tv or something cuz i am soo freakin bored....Lis
| 8-1-03 |
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| Mood: Sick/Tired |
8-1-03 11:42 p.m.
well...wednesday during the day time i got pretty drunk at bobbys house, i drank half of the 5th all by myself of jager at his house and then i wasnt even able too drive so he drove me home and then i went too work wasted and then i went too bed after work well i woke up at 7:30 in the morning yesterday and started puking, i think i could have had alcohol posioning, because i threw up all day the last time i threw up was at 10:30 lastnight, i swear i think i threw up like 50 times yesterday my stomach has cramps in it from such a work out, well i was throwing up blood and had a fever and passed out and shit, so yeah that totally makes alcohol not attractive too me anymore. So i didnt go too work lasntight and i didnt go this morning i have too go in tomarrow at 5:00 and u know they have too be pretty pissed at me cuz i missed too days but i cant help it if i am sick. well...today i spent the day with ian, we didnt really do anything but it was cool being with him he was being so nice and everything i love it when he acts like that so tomarrow before work i am guna go over there. well i left his house at like 9:50 cuz they were all getting drunk and i didnt really want too so i went too bobbys for an hour, bobby was getting in trouble i felt bad for him the other day we got into a lil fight and he punched a whole in his bedroom wall and his parents found it and were pissed and the drummer of his band had some beer and it pissed them off, cuz they dont like him around alcohol nemore, and the cops showed up at his house and said he knew something about a stolen car or something which he didnt blake short or whatever fucking told the cops some fake shit so now bobbys getting into trouble for that too, so i left. i think i am just guna go too bed even though its early but i am exhausted...peace
| 8-6-03 |
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| Mood: Sad |
8-6-03 10:43 p.m.
No I can't forget tomorrow
When I think of all my sorrow
When I had you there
But then I let you go
And now it's only fair
That I should let you know
What you should know
I can't live
If living is without you
I can't live
I can't give any more
I can't live
If living is without you
I can't give
I can't give any more
Do you ever just wanna die?? Yeah well lastnight and today are one of those days. me and ian broke up lastnight. *tear* I cant believe it, i never actually thought we would break up. I really wanna get back together, cuz we didnt even have a reason for breaking up we were arguing and i was all like fine if i am that terrible then i shouldnt be in your life nemore, and i was like so are we breaking up and he said "i guess" so were broken up. I cant believe it. I worked with shannon tonight and she is soo awesome, she is ian's friend, well it made me sad the whole time, because me and shannon always talk about how cute ian is and how lucky i am and how much i like him and blah blah blah well tonight it was soo different and soo depressing, and i dont know i just wanted too cry at work the whole time, shannon thinks we will get back together, and i want too but i honestly dont think we will, i really fucked up this time. we broke up because of my damn jealousy pretty much. GRRRRRRR
yeah well life sux then you die....well life sux, so now i am just waiting too die.
Lis
| 8-25-03 |
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| Mood: LaZy |
8-25-03 9:42 p.m.
Hmmm, i havent written in here in awhile. well me and Ian were only broken up for like 2 days we got back together and are very very happy. i have been staying the night over there quite a bit lately *smile*...ummm i went up north for a week, wow theres nothing like being in the middle of no where when the world comes too an end (all the power goes out) it sucked up there, there was nothing too do and i was up there for 6 nights. even though it actually wasnt as bad as i thought it was guna be.
I got a new cell phone sense mine got stolen. and i like my new one alot better its a sprint.
I have been smoking marijuana quite a bit lately, i dont really know why but i have even been like trying too find it. I am like blown all the time now, but hey its cool....lol
today was the first day of school, it wasnt as bad as i thought it was guna be my 2nd and 6th hr is prolly my fave. I want a class with my friend andy and tubby but we dont *frown* and it makes me mad there both awesome.
this morning when i was getting ready for school my nail broke so now when i get paid tomarrow i have too get them re done grrrr....well i am guna go do something lmao!! peace
9-7-03 2:53 p.m.
Hmmm...not to much has been going on which is why i havent written in here in awhile, school started i hate it as usual. a fucking teacher already called my mom too bitch about me, lol i kinda think its funny, starting out the year good. newayz, me and ian are still good but have been fighting alot lately, we got into a fight yesterday because i got high, well i didnt know i wasnt aloud...ya know? but its all cool now and we both know that we over reacted and stuff...he is sleeping right now he starts his new job tonight i am very excited for him.
i have a SHIT LOAD of homework too do but i didnt bring ne of it home so it doesnt look like i am going too be getting it done. schools so gay. and i have been poor lately, i need to start working more, or get a different better job or just have two. i have too work tonight at 5:00 and i dont want too but i guess i dont always get what i want. brendan has an ear infection and i dont know if those things are contagious or not, but i am starting too think i could have one too. nothing is really new. so i guess i am guna go watch tv before i have too worK. Lis
| 9-13-03 |
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| Mood: blah |
9-13-03 4:31 p.m.
I am so bored, i didnt really do much today i woke up about 12:30 and i dont know why cuz i only stayed up untill like 12:00 because i spent the whole day with Ian, we went and saw Cabin Fever, it was good not as good as i thought it was going too bed i know he didnt like it but i did...it was gory though. I sat around my house all day and played with the kid he just learned how too crawl so it was fun watching him...and then i got mcdonalds i dont know why i keep doing that because i have noticed i have gained some weight and i am being all depressed and bitchy about it, and then i go and get mcdonalds, it kinda makes me mad, i think i am guna start working out again...i know i am real lazy but i want a firm stomach....I have too be too work at five i am not excited about that lately we have been closing at 9:00 but tonight is saturday and we dont close untill 10:00 so that sux. *frown*...well, i am guna go get ready for work...oh yeah and school still sux!! Lis
| 9-13-03 |
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| Mood: Angry |
9-13-03 (midnight) 12:25 p.m.
GRRRRRRRR
| 10-01-03 |
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| Mood: LaZy |
10-1-03 2:40 p.m.
I am soo bored. I just got home from school....I HATE IT SOO MUCH. this year is like the worst year ever, usually i always make fun of those losers who skip and dont give a fuck and shit, well damn...i have figured out that i have become one of them. WHEN i show up for class i dont do anything, and when i dont i go too Ians. I dont think its a very good idea i have a car this year, cuz it makes me just wanna leave every god damn second. Well i finally got rid of that weed...damn when i got pulled over with TWO FUCKING OUNCES on me i was scared shitless. but nothing else is really new. work is pretty easy lately all i do is stand there all night except for when thereasa goes like physco and makes us do some gay shit. like the other day she was giving everyone some fucked up things too do like clean behind the menu come on now, WHO DOES THAT?! i spent the whole day with ian yesterday i didnt go too 5th or 6th hr and i just went over there and then we went too jordan creek again so he could put in another application....and then we went too Lindas house, because i needed too give her the money for the things i ordered at the sex toy party i went too....i didnt get the stuff yet i should get it tonight, lol i am excited. anyways....then me and ian went a got a large pizza and ate it all...lol and we went too best buy and the mall and just did stupid shit too keep ourselves busy cuz we didnt feel like laying around, and then....i went home, and i wanted too stay up and watch crank yankers because i fricken love that show....but i ACCIDENTLY took my sleeping pills like an idiot at 9:15 and i was out by ten, that makes me soo mad. but oh well...well i am guna go now because ian should be coming over soon and i wanna eat and shit....peace
| Mood: In Love |
|
| 10-18-03 |
10-18-03 11:22 a.m.
Its Sweetest Day *smile* i got paid on tuesday and went and got ian some stuff....but i only worked three days last week and i had too give some money too the manager because she was collecting money for the xmas gift she got the owner well i hate the owner (carol) and well i hate the manager (threasa) too, but oh well she like cornered me so i have her the money! I feel bad because i didnt get ian very much stuff, and he spent ALOT of money on me, i didnt get my presents yet, but i know he did so i kinda feel bad but oh well. He knows i love him thats all that matters, DUDE....last tuesday he told me he loves me i couldnt believe it i was soooo freakin happy, we have been going out for 9 months and he finally said it, it made me very happy. I woke up this morning and ian left me a message on my cell phone that said "happy sweetest day babe" It was very nice of him. It made me happy. OMG last-night we went too go see the texas chainsaw massacre, HOLY SHIT, that movie scared the crap outta me i am not even joking that was like the scariest movie ever. and just too think that all this really happened too those poor teenagers, yeah i am not guna lie to you lastnight i was scared too go too sleep, lol so i took my sleeping pills and i was out before i knew it, but wow that movie was scary, and they actually have real footage of "leather face" the guy with the chiansaw, it was freaky. well i am guna go watch tv or something because i am bored out of my mind.....Lis
10-25-03 11:43 p.m.
I am bored out of my mind, i woke up this morning at like 11:00 i had a wedding too go too at 2:30 so when i woke up i looked at my clock too see much longer i could sleep, well there was like a pop can infront of one of the numbers on my alarm clock or something and i thought it was one something so i hurried up and got outta bed and got already for this wedding and shit, and i was all ready by 12:30 i was like what the fuck yeah it pissed me off a lil and then i left for the wedding at like 1:45 we wanted too be early then i left and came home 'till around 5:00 got into a fight with ian and boy what a fight this one was, it was one of the bigger ones let me tell ya, and then i left for the reception, but....my parents wouldnt let me drive to the reception because it was like an hour away and blah blah blah and that pissed me off because i didnt wanna stay very long, so i went there and we didnt even eat untill 7:30 and then it was like wedding food and it sucked and i didnt even like it so i got my cousin mike too buy me alcohol and shit, lol...then i started enjoying my self a lil better there was this 25 year old guy who wouldnt leave me alone. he was hitting on me infront of my mom and my aunt and shit let me tell ya it made me feel very uncomfortable cuz he knew how old i was and everything. i am real worried about mine and ians relationship, honestly i dont think it is going too last very long, well i want it too but we have just been fighting soo much, i love him i really do, but i am scared. i just think i would be lost without him i know that sounds like waaaaay gay but its just the way i feel. we have been going out sense like forever. i dont wanna be without him. newayz....i am so tired ian went too go take my sister too the bar or something because she is guna get all wasted and then he is guna have too pick her up later so she wont drive home drunk or some stupid shit like that....but whatever i guess it doesnt really bother me. well i am guna get offline now ian just got here and we are guna watch a movie....Lis
| 11-7-03 |
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| Mood: Annoyed |
11-7-03 7:37 p.m.
Well confrences were this week so on tuesday wed. and thursday i got out of school at 10 o'clock it was sweet. Today was a full day it took all i had too get out of bed this morning, i woke up and then decided too go back too bed untill 7 :20 which is when i normally leave for school....so i QUICKLY put some make up on and ran out the door when i got into my car there was like ice all over my window so i had too sit in my car for like ever untill it heated up and then i left and i wasnt even late for 1st hr *smile* we are watching the movie "I am sam" in 1st hr omg it is such a good movie i want it. i am supposed too make a list of cd's and dvd's for my mom that i want for christmas and that one will deffinetly be on it. after school i came home and then went too big boy i think i pretty much got hired there, so thats sweet. i am guna be a waitress. Today was Aprils last day at northren that made me so sad she is going back too PH i love her so much i dont want her too leave sure i am still guna see her and talk too her and stuff, but...it wont be the same i wont eat lunch with her anymore, and i wont have 4th hr with her so now i have too put up with Mr. BLUNTskey all by myself *tear*
Newayz after big boy i came home and took a shower and straightened my hair and all that good stuff and then i went over too Ians me and Ian and Richard went too Subway and saw Ashley. Then we went back too the apartment and me and Ian got into a fight or an argument or whatever and now here i am at home by myself on a Friday night. sounds like fun huh?
Well i dont really have anything else going on besides the fact that i am in shit with my parents and i am supposed too move in with ian in feb. but i dont really want too like i do i think it would be sweet to live with him but at the same time i dont know what i am thinking so i dont know what i am going too do, because my parents suck and i am not living here nemore after Feb, so who knows. but i am guna go watch tv or something fun fun!! or maybe make up that list for my mom. Lis
| 11-8-03 |
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| Mood: Tired |
11-8-03 10:22 a.m.
Well i woke up at like 9:15 or something, that makes me mad i wanted too sleep in but i guess it is sleeping in compared too that 6:30 crap i gotta do for school. and considering the fact that i went too bed lastnight at like 10:30 and thats earlier then i go too bed on school nights.
I went back too Ians apartment lastnight. So i took him into his room and bitched for a lil while and then he apologized because he wanted me too shut up not because he was sorry which pisses me off, but whatever. and i left at like 10:15 because he was soooo tired and couldnt stay awake and blah blah blah.
My mom is such a bitch she wants me too empty the hamper clean my room and my closets God she pisses me off i cannot stand her. I hope she dies. But I could never be so lucky. My dad wants me to go shoot my gun with him or something but i dont like him right now either so i dont know how many times i have too tell him no, yeah i feel bad most of the time. but whatever he shouldnt be a dick too me and i wouldnt be a bitch back. Well i am guna go eat something and watch t.v. for a little while!! Lis
| 11-13-03 |
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| Mood: sad/depressed/mad |
11-13-03 4:11 p.m.
I am soo depressed, and i dont know why! You know how when some people get depressed they eat alot, and then there are others who dont eat at all?? I am one of the ones who dont eat at all....and i have been so depressed lately. Not even my boyfriend can make me happy, he can only make me furious which just makes my depression worse. I am soo sick of life. Everything about it pisses me off. I hate that my best friend has fucking faggets for friends she called me the other day and she was hanging out with TONY tony is a fucking loser....i dont think i have ever met anyone so gay. And i hate how my boyfriend is so unsensetive and understanding. He had the nerve to tell me yesterday that i have a perfect life....FUCK THAT okay i live with my parents who drive me crazy which means i have rules and shit he lives on his own and doesnt have rules so theres a point for him, i have a car that my parents keep taking away even though i paid for it but its in my dads name, point for him cuz he has a car thats HIS...he bitches about losing his lisence and having all this legal bullshit too deal with WELL ITS YOUR FAULT FOR DRINKING. he has a job that pays more then mine and its more respectable and he doesnt have too go too school. so what the hell is so great about my life compared too his, you know whenever i have a problem, he always has something worse going on so he thinks newayz and can never feel sorry for me, not even for a second GOD that drives me CRAZY!!! If I am going too die while i am a teenager, now would be a very good time, its not like theres anything tramendously wrong in my life, i just simply dont wanna live nemore. grrrrrrr life sucks, but i guess it doesnt suck enough for me too take my own life. well i gotta work later so peace
11-14-03 9:39 p.m.
Okay so maybe i am smart enough too take my own life.
Peace
11-27-03 10:54 a.m.
Its Thanksgiving big deal, thanksgiving is gay but whatever. Yesterday I didnt have school *smile* me and ashley went too the mall and got some stuff for my mom and ate, and....i called in sick too work even though i wasnt sick i got a waitressing job at big boy so saturday is my last day at DQ its kinda sad, cuz i dont hate it as much now that Thereasa is gone. But oh well i guess. My whole fricken family came over lastnight, my mom my dad nicholas matthew charity, jessica, brendan, my grandma and grandpa, katie, adam and me and Ian. and of course me and Ian were fighting the whole time what would be a day without fighting with Ian?? I wouldnt know. Our last fight was the worst ever i dont even wanna think about it, lots of bad things happened to me naturally....and i dont wanna talk about lastnights either, i am supposed too go over too my aunt normas at 1:00 for some thanksgiving bullshit, but i dont really want too...Ian was guna come but i univited him, my mom keeps telling me too call him and get him to come, but not if he is guna ruin my day again....and if she only knew what it was like when shes not around. newayz...I wanna see Gothika soo bad but ian wont take me *frown* so i think i am guna go with ashley tomarrow cuz we are going too lakeside and stuff, so why not see a movie. Well I have too go and finish getting ready!! Peace....Lis
| 12-8-03 |
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| Mood: Blah |
12-8-03 5:04 p.m.
Its almost christmas, and i could care less, christmas is gay!! Well...life just keeps going on and on as always, surprisingly i have been doing my homework lately, i just got done writing a paper for Lit that is due tomarrow, and i think it turned out pretty good but i prolly wont get a good grade on it, because i never do. Everything else in my life is gay!! I waitress at Big Boy now, Saturday was my first day waitressing by myself without Jeni my trainer person following me around and taking all my tips, lol i made $80 in tips saturday night and i was done at 11:00 p.m. unlike friday when i stayed untill 1:30 a.m.
my job is hard it really is, compared too dairy queen its like hell....i should have appreciated DQ more, lol...but oh well i am making more money this way! after school today, i went too the mall took some x-mas gifts back i decided i didnt need too give away nemore, went and got gas and then worked on my paper for Lit, oh and....cleaned my room too *smile* i love when my room is clean! nothing else is really new i got a 73% on my science test today :) but i gotta go my mom has me making lisaugna for dinner 2night sense her and my dad wont be getting home untill 6:30....Lis
I will most likely be making changes to this everyday, so keep checking back!!
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